Heart shaped lolly pop

I'm tired.

Physically exhausted. Mentally drained. Emotionally contented. (thank God for the last bit.. or else... )

I don't know la. I mean I know what's going on in my head. Most of the time. But the thing is, I know what I'm thinking about but somehow my actions says other wise.

I forget things easily as I'm easily distracted. The sad part is, I'm forgetting things that involves the boy I'm so in love with. I wonder, I know for a fact that I'm head over heels in love with him but why do I forget things?

There's so many times when I wish I could knock my head on the wall. Maybe I'm the one who should be wearing a lil booklet around my neck to remind me of things. Maybe I would stop forgetting the little things that matter. I mean, BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! WATASHIWA BAKA! (I've got a feeling its in the wrong context but whatever, it just goes to prove my point in the first place).

I hate the fact that I don't get to spend as much time as I want to with him because of circumctances. But then again, I cannot just tie my life down and stay at home all the time. Trust me, that thought has tempted me so many times. But the thing is, that's not something a sane me would do.

I miss him so much its just not funny anymore. There's 10 weeks to go. Ten long/short (can't decide) weeks to go. I know for a fact that I would start counting down to the second till the moment I see him again for the first time in 9 months, for the first time as a couple, for the first time...

I keep playing the scene in the airport over and over again like a broken record. I keep 'changing' what I'm gonna wear when I see him, I keep 'changing' the scene to make it as prefect as possible... Yea, I know, I'm going insane! I should just let it happen..

Went to South Melbourne Beach with Imee, Amy, Tracy and Will. As we walked from South Melbourne last tram stop all the way to the end of Beaconsfield Parade... It's doggies ville there. Everyone was taking their dogs for walks on the beach... I even played with one black dog. He's so cute! And as we were walking, we saw a damn cute house.. and saw a cat looking out the balcony. Imee and I took pics of the cat... Made me miss Persia.

As we were walking along the walk-way by the beach.. I couldn't stop thinking of him. I don't know why walks like that make me miss him so much more than usual. I keep my hands in my pocket. Not because its cold but its bare. I guess it sorta went down hill from there...

I went to church just now. My head was telling me that I needed to go but my body kept telling me to go home. I guess in a way, I'm glad I went... I wanted to just break down when I started praying for us. I lit 3 candles for us. One for strenght, one for our education and one more for our future...

I walked out of church and called him straight...

10 weeks to go.. 10 weeks ain't long, right?