When the stars and the moon and the sky fall through

I wonder..

Why is it so hard to let go? It IS easier said than done. It is.. I mean, when I had to let go of something, no one or anything can take it away except me. There were countless times when I wished that someone would knock it out of me... I wished that I could take my blacken heart and wash it so at least it would look brand new... I wished that someone could re-format my brains and make data retrival impossible.

For the passed few days, it has been emotionally exhausting. I wish there was better words for it all but there isn't. There's no right words of comfort, just facades. There's no right actions of approval, just silence. There's a huge maze and the only way out is patience and time. Yes, time will heal it all. As cliche as it sounds, there is some truth in it...

Life has it ups and downs and it is just annoyingly inevitable. But you see, without these ups and downs, life would just.. be.. monotonous. But don't you think that its so sad that it seems so much easier to feel down and remain feeling down than being happy and remaining happy? Am I making any sense at all?

The thing is I realised that mopping and feeling down seems so much easier to do because sometimes, to continuously feel happy seems like alot of work. Why is that so? Why is it that sometimes, feeling sad is so much easier than being happy?

But you know what? I want to be happy. AND I'm so blessed that I am genuinely happy. And its thanks to the people in my life. I'm eternally grateful for the rest of my life...

Called home just now.. Grandpa is in KL again. Oh man, I miss him so much! And I just realised that all the main men in my life (Melvin, Grandpa, Eugene and Prabha) are all into MINIs! hehehe.. I think Melvin is seriously starting to like Eugene.. hehehe.. I'm so happy. Melvin hardly ever really likes the guys I date.. so its a huge thing for me.

Anyways, back to Grandpa... he and Bennett was constantly cracking me up. Talking to them just now kinda made me feel like I was at home for a while... It made me so happy until I realised that I'm in a carpeted room and the tempreture was below 20 (not a norm in Malaysia no?).

I just can't wait to get home... Mum, Claire, Michelle, Melvin, Layka, Prabha, Grandpa, Nanny, Bennett, Auntie Cathy, Yap, Eugene, Kevin, Fabian, Amir, Deirdre, Jason and everyone I call my family...

This time, I know I would constantly be over the moon when I get home...

Life is good.. Happiness is hardwork to maintain but I ain't giving up.. =)