2 to 5..

Heck! I have decided to do a birthday list. I mean I'm turning 25 next week!!!

So this is what I would like...

1. Season 1 to Season 8 of Will & Grace (downloaded ones also can because its impossible to find the box sets).

2. Season 1 to Season 8 of Project Runway (downloaded ones is find).

3. An external hard disk to fit all the series in.

4. A trip to the hairdresser.

5. A reflexology session.

6. A pair of black heels.

Simple enough eh? :)

Damn. 1/4 century and I have so many places to go to! Like..

1. Vietnam
2. Laos
3. New Zealand
4. Australia
5. UK
6. Venice
7. Spain
8. Chile
9. Brazil
10. Norway
11. San Francisco
12. Hawai'i
13. Fiji
14. Peru

So... many places.. so little time.

oiling my way up

There is this under lying understanding of bribery. I use the term bribery because to put it bluntly and in layman's terms it is plain outright bribery. But you see, here its not seen as bribery. It is seen as a "token of appreciation". A token of appreciation that can apparently take you far. And its the only way things work around here. Well not the only but definitely the grease that oils the machine.

I can call a million dollars a token of appreciation too! I have been "asked" to contribute a few times now but I can't bring myself to do so. And no, its not a million bucks but still. Just the thought of it somewhat irks the shit out of me. It doesn't seem right. Maybe I'm just being naive and trying to be all idealistic and shit.

The point of my writing this out is because I had a moment of weakness. A moment of weakness where I jump on the "brib" wagon to oil my way into the hearts of certain eastern counterparts. And I'm like what the heck! No! I'm not doing it! I think my moment of weakness is caused by the sense of belonging and the sense of being left out. That makes me sound super pathetic right?

Ah well.

Ain't gonna do it.

____________________

It's Claire's birthday today. We (Amil, Michelle, Eugene and I) went out for dinner together and had a good time. And today, we're going out for lunch. Both Claire and I. She's 23. I was 23 two years ago. I'm turning 25 next week! omg! 1/4 century old! omg!

Now I feel like going on a shopping spree. fck.

Age

Tis' the season of birthdays.

Did I mention I kinda hate growing up?

From make up and boys to credit cards and tax claims. What's next? Wedding venues and wedding dresses to diapers and breast feeding?

omg.

University life seems like ages ago for some reason. Working does suck the living day lights out of you huh?

I miss it a lot you know. The mid night chai lattes to the beach & morning after breakfast at the Farmer's Market. The studying into the night and running out of the exam hall, screaming inside because you're done for the semester (when an Asian goes screaming, there's something wrong. When a Kiwi goes screaming, they're just uni kids).

Honestly, I would do anything to live it again with the same bunch of people.

I can't wait for the big reunion in 2014!

I miss everyone. I really do.

wabbittt!

The year begun slow and steady.

With me falling asleep on the couch at 3am in Dyan and Rod's.

Well fast forwarding to recent events, I sold my first unit of the year last week (the 2nd week of work). Pretty good eh?

Other than that, I have made some new year's resolution in the hopes of changing some stuff about how I want to live my life. You know growing up a bit.

1. Dress up more corpora-ty. I know corpora-ty isn't exactly the word of a grown up but eh. I'm starting something right? Anyways, I have been dressing up more for work since I started. No flats. Always in heels. Barefoot in the office of course.

2. Better time management. Arrange more work appointments and not appointments to meet at D'Legends (its now our official Friday Night drinks place to be). And also to Make time for my other new year resolutions.

3. Go places! Travelling! Which brings me to my first holiday out of KL. I'm going to Danok and Hat Yai for the first time this weekend with the Gohs. More new first time places to go to! Sri Lanka, watch out!!! :)

4. Lose weight. Trying to stay off rice for lunch and even if I do have rice, its has been cut into half since I started work. No late night meals. And I'm going to join the new gym at Mont Kiara. Fitness First, here I come!

5. Make me some moolah! Yup. As much as I hate to admit it but I need them moolah for my new years resolutions.

6. Read more! Start building my little library! The sweetest thing was when the bf started looking at space saving ways to have a lil library! lol. Yay! more books! In the midst of that, I discovered Alexandra Potter. Chick lit: yes. Soppy chick lit: no. I'm reading her second book now. Will go get more soon! Before heading to Danok of course! :)

Discovering more responsibilities and watching people achieve the things I want to achieve fuels me. I used to be quite the competitive person when I was younger and I think coming back to the Malaysian environment has fuelled me yet again.

The growing up, the competitive streak. An explaination? I don't know.

Maybe because I'll be 25 in a few weeks.

crap.

Is it Lent yet?

I was on Facebook when I see that Astrid has tagged me in one of her post. She has put up her Christmas wish list which includes a DS and a tera hard disk... among the many. Expensive stuff. But oh well its a wish list after all and it does not necessarily mean you will get everything on that list.

Anyways it got me thinking. What do I want for Christmas and the only thing that keeps popping in my mind is freaking head phones that I can use in the office. So I have decided, like Astrid, I will put up my own Christmas Wish list, but unlike Astrid, I will do it in the "privacy" of my own blog.

My 2010 Christmas Wish List

1. As mentioned, head phones. More specifically, Skull Candy ones.

2. Box sets: Harry Potter (when the last one comes out, I don't mind delayed Xmas Pressies), Grey's Anatomy, Will and Grace. That's all I can think of right now...)

3. A trip to New Zealand.

4. Stamps and Ink pads, the arts and craft types not the office ones.

5. A trip to the UK

6. Bed sheets (but I'm very particular about thread counts... )

7. Shopping voucher for Ikea (for when I move into my new place).

8. A minimum of 3 sales a month for the year 2011.

9. Simple classy woody picture frames (for when I move into my new place).

10. TV for my Harry Potter marathon

11. Some decent sound system that would make my Harry Potter marathon awesome!

12. A driver

13. Buckets of paint... (if I can paint my new place la).


That's all I can think of.

I think I better get back to work..

a long time coming

Its been so long since I last wrote anything in here. I miss it.

Everything in my head has become to saturated since. And I realised that I have become a lot more bitchier too. I have gone back to making judgements and not liking a lot of people. Which makes my job a lil' harder.

Talking about my job. I have developed this love hate relationship with it and I am still very on the fence about how I feel about this job. The satisfaction only comes in little burst (when I make a sale). There isn't really much of a high.

You know the episode when Meredith comes out of the OR after one of her first surgeries, and she ask Derek why would anyone want to do drugs? and she was high on what she was doing, her job, operating on people.

The question is, will I ever get that 'high'?

That is just the job front.

Claire and I are moving out. We have decided that the house is too toxic for our sanity. There's too much to elaborate but this is what I can say... suffocation has never really been an issue. I realised that I'm a nomad. A girl with no home. I never felt at home since I got back to KL for good last year. Its been a year now. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.

I guess in many ways I am very blessed because I have been given the opportunity to step out of the box. View things from the outside. Making decisions and settling on certain point of view from outside the box makes certain things more bearable. I don't know how I survived before moving out for 5 years.

And now, I'm glad I can afford to move out. I wish I has enough money to get Michelle out too. I will. Eventually. I guess its time to be cruel to be kind.

Christmas is 'round the corner again. And we're all heading to Singapore.

Deirdre is pregnant and its a boy. Expected arrival in April. No more "Let's Party!" .. its now "BABY SHOWER!".

Life is definitely changing. But situations somewhat remains the same.

Ain't life just grand?

work update

As interesting as it may get. Some days is just a major bore.

I'm starting to really enjoy my work. Had a chance to go to Singapore last weekend for a commercial property expo at Hilton. Very interesting..

Met some really nice Singaporean and some psycho ones too. But it was all good. I have my gracious colleagues to thank for. On Saturday night, I met up with Nashreen and Tash. Had a pretty good time. We ended up at Tash's usual place, "Attica". Pretty good music. Mixed crowd. Reminds me a bit like Monkey Bar with nicer fittings and better music... the people, similar to Monkey Bar. Brings back oh so many memories.

Anyways, as part of an unofficial initiation thing, we're all going to Sultan Lounge this Friday for Hed Kandi!

And THEN! on the 4th of August, I'll be going for CALVIN HARRIS! at Zouk! Dyan rallied up a group of pumped up people to go so yeah!!! hehehe. AND both EUGENE and RODNEY are really psyched about it!

Now I have to find a way to get a day off. Hmm... its going to be a lil tough since emergency and medical leaves has been tighten. I shall find a way!!

Anyways, its back to work for me!

Ciao!

Money talks.

I got a new job.

But I don't know if I'm comfortable. I mean, it has only been 2 days... but I'm definitely not excited about it. More like uneasy. I don't do well with numbers and I hate selling things to people. Especially things that cost between 300k to 1.6 million aussie dollars. I don't don't know how I'm going to do this. The money is only good if I can sell a minimum of 30 property a year. haihz. I don't know la.

I told myself that I'll give me about 3 months. And I think I will. I don't wanna quit just like that. Not exactly getting much support for this.. that's for sure. It's more like, "Yay! She's off her ass and earning some dosh".

I just hope I'm wrong about this.

Boost Up!

I still have my job. And its getting slightly better. Been super busy now that things have been set in stone... so Doraemon, here I come!

Here I am, sitting at Starbucks with my boss and colleague (aka Wynton and Kyle), waiting for our next meeting. As I started my work (too much to do!), I see these two people carrying a green Styrofoam cups.... I recognised those Styrofoam cups ANYWHERE... IT'S BOOST JUICE!!! HERE IN KL! tucked away in a corner in Bangsar Village 1!

PEOPLE! GO GET YOURSELF SOME HEALTHY YUMMY SMOOTHIIEEEE~!

To my delight, I took my purse and off I went to get myself a mango tango crush (mango, passionfruit, mango nectar, sorbet and ice). I am a happy girl...

To make matters better, it is a gloomy day! Hardly any sun... I'm praying it would rain.. then I am officially on cloud9.

I went for West Side Story last Sunday night with the Gohs (Eugene, Dyan, Rodney, Li Ping, Auntie Gert, Uncle Christopher, Uncle Mui and Auntie Mei Ling). It was AWESOME! Money well spent. I have never spent so much for something like this in Malaysia before.. but it was worth it.

On the couple front, Wynton and Astrid got together and my baby sister is no longer single. hehehe.

On the family front, same old same old... The up side is, I finally met Wayne, Adam and Uncle Fred in Singapore. It was awesome. A week later, Wayne came to KL and we partied the night away. Melvin turned 21 and we had in at Uncle Nuebert's place. He graciously allowed us to use his house for the party. That was a good night too...

Anyways.. back to work...

:P

hot rocks.

It is too fucking hot! I'm sweating while sitting on the cool floor with the fan on number three! I can't take my top off in case my melo-dramatic brother walks out of his room.

Anyways, my job is on rocks. I have 1.75months pay yet to be banked into my account. So there is an unofficial strike at the moment. I need the cash... Don't we all?

I need a side job. Badly.

Haihz.

the door of the plane closes.

As I was lazing on the bed this morning, eugene throws me the today's paper and tells me to read it. And on the front page of the middle section is about the kids who don't belong... Here's the whole article..

___________________________________________________________

Who am I?
By CHAN LI-JIN


Having a foot in different countries gives children a wider world view. But they could end up feeling they don’t belong anywhere.

SO tell me, are you born and bred here?”

Barely seated comfortably yet, I was taken aback by Ruth Van Reken’s question as we settled down for an exclusive interview in Petaling Jaya recently.


Ruth Van Reken: ‘No one talks of the loss that comes with the closing of an airplane door.’
Even as I replied “Yes”, I knew it was a simplified answer. How could I explain to this foreigner that I was born in Johor Baru but had spent the last two decades of my life in Kuala Lumpur, yet my father was from Penang? And why would these details matter anyway?

As the interview progressed, however, I found myself telling Van Reken more and more of myself and the Malaysian context of our discussion. It was easy to sense that this 64-year-old author of two books, Letters Never Sent and Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, was as interested in knowing me as I was to know her.

This is hardly surprising, as Van Reken has been listening to others’ stories for the last two decades since Letters was published in 1987. Written as a journal and initially titled Letters I Never Wrote, the book was written in the form of letters to her parents, beginning with her first night at boarding school, when Ruth was six. It continues through the years when her parents stayed on in Nigeria after sending her back to the United States (her mother’s birthplace) at the age of 13.

When she completed the book, no publisher thought the story was worth any money, Van Reken recalled. So she published it herself. And when it hit the stores, she started receiving tons of letters from readers who said they could relate to her pain and grief of being a third culture kid (TCK).

So what exactly is a TCK?

Simplistically, it refers to the children of people who live and work abroad, away from their passport country. Research shows that these children who lead highly migratory lives tend to battle issues of rootlessness, restlessness, fractured relationships, cultural imbalance and lack of belonging, even though they were also developing a large world view, multi-lingual abilities and friendships with people from different cultural backgrounds.

In Third Culture Kids, Van Reken and sociologist co-author Prof David Pollock profile the practical, emotional and psychological benefits and challenges in the reality of what they refer to as “growing up among worlds”. The major challenges of this nomadic lifestyle are related to dealing with the often hidden losses and the perpetual search for identity.

The first edition of Third Culture Kids, published in 1999, became an international bestseller very quickly. Readers sent her heart-wrenching, humorous, sometimes thought-provoking stories describing their migratory lives. They ranged from military families to those in the foreign service, children of missionaries, and even children of multiracial families, immigrants and minority groups.

“That’s when David (Pollock) and I realised that the topic covered a much wider scope than we imagined,” Van Reken said. The revised version ofthe book, released in 2009, continues to draw global attention from people who feel they have finally found the reason behind their lifetime search for answers.

The revised version expanded on the TCK term, and included definitions for adult third culture kids (ATCK), cross cultural kids (CCK), and even people moving within their own country who feel ostracised by the differing cultures, social practices and unspoken community rules in each different state.

Their different experiences notwithstanding, they all share the same dilemma: Who exactly am I?

Van Reken explained: “TCKs always feel out of place and abnormal, especially when teachers ask, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ They face problems filling forms where they need to mark ‘race’ and ‘nationality’. Having to explain what they fill poses another problem!”

She speaks from experience. Growing up as a white person in Africa, she always knew she didn’t “belong” among the dark-skinned children. “Kids on the streets used to call out ‘white girl, white girl’ and tug at my clothes on the streets,” she reminisced.

Her parents were teachers and ran a small school for African children, so even as a little girl she knew she was among the privileged back in those colonial days. But she also knew she would leave one day, as her mother kept a small table at the end of the classroom where she was taught American culture to prepare young Ruth for the inevitable repatriation.

“But there’s only so much you can learn from books. When I first arrived in the United States as a young teenager, the first question my classmates asked was, ‘Where are you from?’ Having lived in Africa all my childhood, I replied ‘Nigeria’.

When her friends exclaimed with disbelief, “You don’t look African”, she realised it was the wrong answer.

“But Nigeria was my home for the first 13 years of my life – all my friends, my nanny and my world were there. What was I supposed to say?” Van Reken said, smiling at the recollection.

Although she now looked just like everyone in her predominantly white, mono-culture school in the United States, once again she felt that she didn’t belong.

“I never learnt to swim like everyone else, yet I could bargain really well in a wet market. My first attempt to get a hamburger was a huge embarrassment. I didn’t know there were extra tax charges so I only brought exact change.”

Identity crises tore at Ruth. By the time she turned 14, she no longer told anyone about her African childhood. She studied nursing, married a paediatrician at 22 and went on to have three children.

In her mid-20s, she returned to visit her parents in Africa when her husband was posted to Liberia. All at once, she was hit by the familiarity of the warm earthy tones, the pungent smells of cooking, the animated sounds of the Hausa language among the locals.

But it was no longer the same. Her parents had moved to a different place. She also had two siblings whom she hardly knew.

“My old house was gone, together with all I knew and loved. It hurt me deeply to know I’d lost them forever. I never even said goodbye.”

Van Reken stayed in Liberia with her young family for a few years until political unrest forced them to return to the United States. At every point, she always took everything in her stride, going with the flow until she turned 39 and went into a deep depression.

“Suddenly I was questioning everything that had happened in my life and why I felt this void deep inside. I didn’t understand why I felt such deep sadness when I had had such a happy and loving childhood surrounded by parents, grandparents, relatives and friends.

Van Reken’s books triggered a flood of response from readers who could relate to the pain of being TCKs.

“That was when I started Letters Never Sent, as part of my grief therapy. They were mostly letters to my parents, talking about everyday events and wishing they were there, as a six- or 13-year-old who had just been sent off to a faraway school. By looking back at my experiences, I discovered what I needed was a closure to my beautiful childhood days, which I’d tried to suppress since moving back to US,” she said.

“Whenever people mention loss, what always comes to mind is the loss of a parent through death or divorce, a loved one, a pet, a best friend. No one talks of the loss that comes with the closing of an airplane door, when one leaves a place.

“A part of me died the day I first flew out of Africa. And I needed to mourn the loss in order to overcome the grief.”

Since then, Van Reken has been travelling around the world to counsel and talk about the impact of high mobility on TCKs to teachers, parents and policy makers. She was in Malaysia recently to conduct similar programmes for some international schools in Petaling Jaya.

Her mission now is to help TCKs and their families deal with the challenges so that they can use the many gifts in their childhood as well.

“With their international exposure, travelling opportunities and cross-cultural upbringing, most TCKs have excellent social and adaptive skills. They are also more likely to see people beyond colour, race and nationality and have a broader world view.”

She points out that these benefits can be harvested to benefit the child’s wholesome development instead of being allowed to fester into a life-long sense of searching for a place to belong.

So does Van Reken feel “at home” in Indianapolis, where she lives now?

“Yes and no, because I’ve got little bits of me all over the world. I’ve learnt to make myself at home anywhere in the world. All that matters is making the best of things right here, right now. I don’t try to fit in any more, now that I know where I stand as a TCK.”

As we parted ways, I thought of what Van Reken said about not knowing what to cross under “Race” in official forms. My children are of Chinese and Malay parentage, and I often wonder what they should fill in this section. Then again, I thought about us Chinese “bananas”, second- or third-generation Chinese Malaysians. Most of us cannot read or speak Chinese any more; we attend Malay national schools, yet think, read and write in English.

Then there are the people from Terengganu, Kelantan or Sabah who have settled in Kuala Lumpur or other parts of the country. Their children will very likely never speak the dialect distinct only to their state, and many will never know the culture and lifestyle of their parents and ancestors.

Are these children TCKs too?

Definitely. In today’s highly mobile and complex environment, perhaps there will come a time when every Malaysian is a TCK in one way or other. Except here, we have a different term for it – 1Malaysia.

■ ‘Third Culture Kids’ can be obtained through Navigate Together Sdn Bhd (navtogether.com). For enquiries, e-mail admin@navtogether.com or call Mike Cannon at 017-200 3685.

_____________________________

I have to say. Its been a long time since I read a really good article from our local newspaper. Well.. I liked it anyways. I know I have only been away for a very short period of time. But by the third year I was away, I began to feel alienated from my own country, some of my friends and even sometimes, my own family. I feel like I'm now beginning to learn to ropes of my own birth country again.

I have no clue about what have been going in the last 5 years and I'm slowly (but surely) learning about it. I have friends who are sick and tired of the Malaysian night life while I'm slowly beginning to enjoy it again. It's like my growing up process in Malaysia took a back seat while I explored life in Australisia.

I miss being away from home. There are times when I wish I was going back to New Zealand and enjoying a cuppa and a cig with Jess and Janice in Governors or visiting Elaine and Darren in Wellington or going fishing with the boys or just bumming doing absolutely nothing on a super boring monday night with CC and Eugene. Come to think of it, maybe its not so much the place but the lifestyle in general.

Maybe I'm still getting used to the working life while missing the student life of being away.

Now one thing is for sure, I'm moving out. Just the matter of when and stabilizing my finances then I'm outta there.

ps. Melvin turned 21. Tristan turned 2. I'm going to Langkawi. I still have a job. Amen.

The most comfortable chair is taken.

Been working for almost 2 months now. Learning alot, that's for sure. But here's the thing, I'm the only girl most of the time. Feels like I'm back in school. The only thing is, they realise I'm a girl and they're butching me up. Oh well.. its fun most of the time so I'm not gonna complain much. Not that there's nothing to complain about... there's shit loads but I shall not pollute my blog with things like that.

Been wanting to blog for quite sometime now but my stupid comp can't get into blogspot because the OS is FAKE! ANYWAYS.. back to me! (I have every right to be conceited in my blog).

I think my self esteem is like a bitchy PMS thing most girls go through. Its more erratic than usual. I know I'm in a long term relationship but its just nice to know that a decent guy is checking you out. All I get these days are old man... and I mean old. I'm 24 and slightly over weight (the biggest I have ever been); thats definitely not something young men, wait let me rephrase that, young asian men are into. If I'm not "spilling out" in "confidence", I would be a wall paper. You know that scene where some guys actually sat on Mia in Princess Diaries because they didn't notice her? I feel that most of the time.

Its not that I don't appreciate my bf for loving me the way I am etc etc... like I said, its nice to know that someone genuinely "checks you out". I know its shallow and all but... thats just how I feel la. Friends will always say you look good la etc etc but you know what, friends do a lot of things to make you feel better. Sometimes, the reality is, we live in a materialistic world and not one gives a shit about the below average girl. But I can tell you one thing, the below average ones are the ones guys bring home to their mothers, not the ones they parade out.

So which one are you?
Can't I have both?

Not all that hardcore am I?

senior event exec

I got a job!!

It's my 7th day at work and I'm enjoying it!

long time coming...

Alot has happened since my last post.

So a little recap of my three plans ya?

Item one:
1.1: Stay away from trackies and over-sized t-shirts | big t-shirt for sleeping and NO TRACKIES IN SIGHT!

1.2: sales, shoes, clothes, bags, clubbing, concerts, road trips, late night bumming in parks, coffee till 3am and mamaks at some un-Godly hour. | yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, not yet, and yes.


Item two:
2.1: Job hunting | sent out my resume to about 6-7 places and so far, nothing. been going thru job search engines and newspapers. nothing.

2.2: Money | no job = no money. however, I do get some sort of an allowance. like 100bucks a week! kinda sad that I'm turning 24 soon and I live on 100 bucks a week. I don't think I have ever felt this pathetic in a damn bloody long time. Yes.. there is some sort of frustration here and I'm trying to stay positive...

You know, staying positive is also staying in denial. The simple act of writing it down just made it worst... because it gives me this jolt of reality.

Item three:
3.1: Moving out | I have set goals. Yes. GOALS. I'm giving myself until June to move out or 3 months after I get a job. Because than, I would have some money saved up to move out in peace and no worry about money so much like a sad poor uni student.

----------

So thats my update of my three items. Because I am an official unemployed bum, I had a lot of time to think about stuff. I realise that I am not getting any younger. I am turning 24 in about 2 weeks. I have decided to make short term goals.

1. Move out (the obvious)
2. Get my PADI Licence.
3. Climb Mount Kinabalu.
4. TRAVEL at least 3-4 times a year. (Anywhere out of Klang Valley)
5. Save my money towards getting my own place.

-----------

More bumming thoughts..

Here's my birthday wishlist.

1. Gillette Mach 5
Reason: It gives a better shave. I don't understand why women's razors are not like that. Haihz...

2. Gym Membership.
Reason: It rather obvious for those who knows me now.

3. A Job
Reason: Yet another obvious question. Let's just say this girl has alot of materialistic needs which needs satisfying.

4. Spa treatment or just the simple reflexology.
Reason: Because a girl needs to pamper herself la! ask Rodney, he knows best! =)

5. A new handphone and line.
Reason: My phone is falling to pieces. Been using the same phone since 2006. Yes, the horror... BUT this is only reserved for my dad! not like he know about it yet... but he will... by this weekend. =)

6. shopping vouchers
Reason: I HAVE NO WORK CLOTHES! seriously! NONE! and every girl lovessss shopping! =)

That's all I can think off...


OHHHH... and spending new year's with Jess, Elaine, Astrid and the rest of the church people was an awesome start to the new years.. and and and going for bassment jaxx with Tracy and my darling sister on the second day of new years and bumming into sherinaz and firman was AWESOME! =)

=) GTG.. amil and claire old town word board games session.

Elaine: I get you!! I feel like my brain cells are dying..

Unemployed Bum Out!

french fries and garlic butter

I don't know what to expect once I head home for good. But there are three main things that I have been pondering on... it may seem rather immature but... oh well.. I'm currently a bum and I am, most of the time, moulding on Cumberland street. So...

Item no.1:

One thing that I'm looking forward to is losing weight and getting back to the old me and staying away from over sized t-shirts and trackies.

I'm excited about getting back to the much FASTER paced KL lifestyle. I think I've been stuck behind for the passed 2.5 years and I have to catch up again. Back to being the city girl and that is one thing I can't wait for, to be honest. I can't wait for sales, shoes, clothes, bags, clubbing, concerts, road trips, late night bumming in parks, coffee till 3am and mamaks at some un-Godly hour.

Item no.2:

The 'exciting' world of job hunting... the rat race... the money chasing. Whatever you call it, I'm still an underdog as I have almost next to no experience what-so-ever. At least, its my own country and I do not have to be subjected to annoying red tapes such as work permits etc.

I am freaking out but I have to start and I have to start asap. Why? Like every oil infested red blooded Malaysian.. I am ultimately broke. I do not have a generous father and I have materialistic and adventurous needs such as shoes, gym and travelling. And in order to achieve all that, I need a job to get money.

Item no.3:

I need money to move out. After staying away from home for the passed 5 years, I don't know if I can take staying at home for long periods of time. Don't get me wrong. I love my mother and sisters and (occasionally) my dramatic brother. But I don't think I can stand living in that hyper tension world without blowing up and (maybe) regretting my not so nice words. I need some sort of shelter I call my own.

I mean, there is no place for me at the moment. I have to share a room with my MOTHER. A girl at the age of 23 (turning 24 in 2 months) and living with her mother in HER ROOM is not cool... mentally and emotionally.

-----

Conclusion:

Do you see a common trend here? They ALL require freaking money!!!
So..

I WILL GET A JOB BY MY BIRTHDAY!!!
or I will be one miserable, over weight 24 year old in her over-sized t-shirt and trackies, sitting on her mother's sofa, watching Astro and munching on pasar malam food.

A time for for everything.

Uni is once again over for me but this time its for real.

I just got my results, A- for my dissertation!!! and the rest are one B+ and two Bs. I am really really happy about my grades. I mean from constantly failing through out my high school life and college life to completing my uni life on a high is awesome.

Then there the decision of what to do next. Of course, the money making process is about to commence so I made a choice to move back home. Eugene and I will be leaving Dunedin for good in a couple of weeks. I guess its for the good. I can't tell if thats the best option but I guess sometimes we just have to dive in to find out.

Will write more later..

ciao for now.

The I want List! (episode 3)

Thanks to CC not wanting to go and CC's mom for inviting me. I'm going to watch Julie and Julia on Monday (19th Oct)! woohooo~!

Anyways, here's what I want to watch once I hand in my dissertation:
1. Bruno
2. Coco Avant Chanel
3. Couples Retreat
4. An education
5. Fame

And I have yet to watch:
1. Year One
2. The Ugly truth

Here's what I want to do once I hand in my dissertation:
1. Go fishing at the Peninsular.
2. Go to lake Waihola.
3. Go to Moeraki Boulders.
4. Get drunk and party.
5. BUM
6. Clean and throw all the stuff I don't want.
7. WATCH everything we got from Bobby's hard drive.

okay.. back to work...

from the "pom"

- Absolutely no need to reply, just wishing you the best of luck and inspiration from a person who's usual cheers come along the lines of "fuck it, we'll all be dead soon..."- says the Scruffy Australian with dirty chugs.

help!

I... have... no... life.

I'm home on a Friday night writing my damn thesis.

Do you know how hard it is to find reliable sources? and here's what I need.

a) Did Bobby Brown (dubbed King of New Jack Swing) performed on the 5th of May 1993 in PWTC?

b) Krash Kozz's biggest achivement was when Billboard magazine certified their album as the first hip hop album recorded by Malaysian artist.

I need reliable sources! like newspaper articles or something.

AND does ANYBODY know how I can contact Adly Shairi Ramly of Malay Mail? I don't know if he still works there or not. I need to find out his sources for his article on Malaysian hip hop history.

OMG! I'm freaking out. I need to finish my work before I go back in 2 weeks! I'm only at about 7ooo words! I need another at least 8ooo to go!

I need a breather. and maybe a beer?

Doomsday. You think?

We are yet to find out what will happen. And I don't have a good feeling about it. When I read the text mummy sent me, I started having this sinking feeling. Like something bad is boiling up. It feels really uneasy. I really hope for everyone's sake that I'm wrong.

There's so much running through my head right now... and its really noisy.