When something bad has happened to you, you just can’t help feeling that it is just going to happen to you over and over again. You become suspicious about everything and there is this fear that it WILL happen again. You put on this guard and just waiting for it to happen.
When it does, you’re back to the same place again. That place where you feel like everything is just against you and they’re just out to get you and you alone. That place where you feel so alone and there’s nothing to hide behind. No shelter of comfort available, no moment of peace.
Everything become dark again and you become even more paranoid. It is nothing but a vicious cycle and nothing you do will get you out of it.
You curse the first time it ever happened. You curse the day when everything crumples down and your guard becomes ten feet thicker. You begin to trust less, fear more and paranoia becomes your life.
What a life to lead, don’t you think?
The worst part of it all is, how to deal with it without the ten feet thick guard coming on and the trust for the people you have around you vanishes.
This may all sound pretty extreme for those who have not gone through that cursed day. But for those who have, you’ll know what I mean.
Everyone has got that guard on and everyone’s cursed day varies. But we all have one thing in common, we all become paranoid. And that is something we can't just erase unless we have that black pen looking thing they have in Men in Black…
Don’t we all wish we had one just to erase that cursed day.
1 comment:
My own nature hovers between neurotic and paranoid. I've developed the habit of mentally listing things that make me optimistic about the future. I do it every day.
Martha Beck
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