Shallow me whole

I don't know how it got this far and I think its the worst yet.

I feel so numb right now and I don't know what to do. All I know is that I can't face him, being away somewhat makes it easier I guess. I remember telling myself to shut the hell up but I just never do, do I? Over-exposure has never been good in my books and yet I continue doing it to fuck it all up.

I just wish there was some sort of guide to make things easier but the guide never did exist, did it? I don't remember feeling this messed up for the passed 11.5 months... or for the passed two years for that matter.

What would it take for all these to go away?
All I need is for someone to hold me and make it all go away... is that too much to ask for?

Just give me Rodrigo Santoro or puppy... and I'll be all fine.