greater obsession gone wrong?

I think I've become my worst fear.

One of my obsessions has reached a greater height and its scarying the shit out of me. I found myself crying to sleep, waking up with tears on my cheeks, trying to stop tears from flowing as I walked to my tram stop and trying so hard not to tear on the bus on my way home.. the next thing I know, I took of my jeans and jacket, washed my feet and I was back in bed. It was only 4.30pm. Been in bed ever since and now I'm on the floor, leaning on my bed as my fingers are tapping on something stable and familiar.

For the passed few days, I've been hiding my tears. But I'm going insane. And I confessed to the person that matters. When I told him, I felt sooo ridiculous. Why the hell am I even feeling the way I feel? We're oceans and mountains apart and this time, we're still going to be oceans and mountains apart. What difference is it gonna make? So why the hell am I tearing?? Why the hell do I feel like someone just died? Why the hell am I so damn bloody emotional?

I feel so stupid.

Baby.. I love you so much...
Nashreen.. I wanna be in your bag...