u think??

Just came back from Amy's place. We had our long weekly talks.

Something kinda smacked me in the face these passed couple of days. Is it possible for someone to suddenly appear right in front of you even tho that person has been around the whole time? It took me 2 person to make me realise, Amir and Amy. *hugzzzz*

"Wow, he's damn thoughful!", Amir said. After me talking about him panjang lebar and when I told Amir about what he said to me a couple of nights ago.

Yea, he is. Never thought about it before. Then I started thinking about everything he did for me. The calls everynow and then, even when I'm here in Melbourne. All those little gestures that (surprisingly) I still remember very clearly. Even when he was in the background the whole time.

When I told Amy, she had this "wise" scary look on her face. Scary in the sense that, its something I would NEVER have thought about. She kinda made me see a few things. AND it's over-whelming! She said that I should just let it happen if it does happen. And she said that she's got a gut feeling that its a good thing. Hehehehe.

The thing is, I know for a fact that the desperate and irrasional part of me would let it happen. But its way too political. I mean, its not going to be easy. Another thing is, I am flattered that someone sees me for me and actually thinks that I'm beautiful and is sincere about it... and the amount of thoughtful stuff he did for me.. wow. But I don't know if I'm able to love him as much as he deserves to be loved. He's way too special to be hurt by someone like me.

The thing that doesn't allow ANYTHING to escalate (and I'm really really glad of this fact) is that he has a gf.

So there's nothing I can do for now. But this realisation is over-whelming and confusing (and in a twisted way.. flattering)...

Despite everything.. Amy also told me that I should start making myself happy instead of thinking of other people and all its politics. And that I deserve to be happy.. *smiles* I agree, Aimzz...

Oh.. and Amy gave me a relaxing back massage! My left shoulder/neck doesn't strain in pain anymore!! Thanks sweetie!! *muaaakkkzzz*