There is time for everything

when?

2011-08-23T19:07:00.002+12:00

September draws near. 4 months to go before the end of the year.

What have I achieved so far? I moved out.

There is this part of me that wants so much more.

I keep wondering when will it be my turn. My turn to feel like I am at peace and satisfied. My turn to see the whitest white of soft snow. My turn to see the northern lights. My turn see raindrops in the form of sakuras. My turn to feel the winds of the ocean on my sun burnt skin as I bury my feet into the white sands of the great big blue ocean.

Some people have it... or have it so close to them that they can actually feel it.

Mine feels so far away.

So when will it be my turn.

Being away

2011-08-19T22:20:00.002+12:00

I realise I can never be truly happy in KL.
I miss being away.
I miss my winters
and I miss my cheap wine.
I miss breathing out 'smoke' when I don't have a cig in hand.
I miss tucking my hands under my tights
and ducking behind my scarf thats around my neck.
I miss the late night walks something I can't do in KL.
Something no one I know does because we're afraid that someone will splash us with acid or get raped or get mugged.
I want to work and grow in an environment where working on weekends is unheard of. '
I want to have a winter wedding with a big bond fire.
I want my kids to have pink noses and an option about everything!

I miss my life away from KL.
I miss being away.

Let me know if you don't like it. I will leave.

2011-06-15T16:57:00.003+12:00

She was right.

The only constant in all the variables is me.

But you know what? I never realised that it can happen in the workplace. An invitation opened openly to everyone but me. I don't need it but it would be nice to be acknowledged.

I am sorry if my level of maturity does not allow me to be an idiot. I am sorry if my topic of conversation does not only evolve around sex. I am sorry if I do not find immature bantering interesting. I am sorry I cannot compute or comprehend or rather I prefer to ignore conversations that would make me stupid. I am sorry I do not find cockroach throwing or cock hitting funny.

So I guess I'm not going to change to be accepted in that environment. Because I don't want to.

I won't stay for long I suppose. Not when I'm now the variable and you are all the constant. Variables can be easily changed isn't it?

For some reason, by some twist, it always ends up being my fault.

Just because I'm not who you all want me to be. I'm not the girly type but I'm not a man either. I'm not interested in stupid sex jokes but I'm not humour-less either. I am not interested but I would like to be acknowledged. I don't care much for all that but I would like to be included.

It has come to the point where I really don't care.

Handphones up. Bedsheets down.

Good bye.

either here nor there

2011-06-08T21:52:00.002+12:00

drama. drama. drama.

But what's new? Story of my life. or rather the life around me.

What was suppose to be a fun occasion has gone a lil sour. The old farts needs to learn and let live. seriously.

Getting quite annoying but what can you do? You're born into a family. You don't really have much of a choice there. Don't get me wrong. I love most of them to bits but sometimes, you really wonder who the adults are.

I finally got my own place.

Claire and I gonna be living together. Pictures will hopefully be up on facebook soon.

I love it.

Don't anyone ruin my mood now.

Absolutely craving for a beer or strongbow right now.

I miss after work beers in kl with the usual suspects.

giving and taking

2011-03-10T21:44:00.003+13:00

It's lent again.

So off I went... after work, I headed to church for 8pm mass.

This time, I actually paid attention to what Father Simon had to say. I do not like that man very much but he is talking about the Word of God.

Anyways, yesterday was about giving up something and doing it in secret and also doing good and doing it in secret. You know the whole "your left hand is not suppose to know what your right hand is doing" or somewhere along those lines.

And so I was thinking...

There are a lot of people who good out there. but when no one knows. But when someone knows, instead of acknowledging the good they have done, they take advantage of it instead! So in order to make people NOT take advantage of another, someone has to acknowledge it. AND the person who acknowledges it must NOT be someone who likes taking advantage or someone. So that when another person knows and takes advantage of it, the first person can put the second person in his/her place.

Because the people who normally do good and being taken advantage of, these people let it slide. Letting it slide to the point where they end up hurting themselves. And sometimes, you don't know what to do because they don't want you to do anything about it because to them, it doesn't matter that people are taking advantage of them.

I don't see the justice of it all. I really don't.

Am I making any sense? Do you know what I mean?

Anyways, thats how I feel about it la.

Blessed Lent Season everyone....

Going nowhere

2011-02-09T21:11:00.002+13:00

I feel depressed.

That dream of travelling to new places is not easy. I knew it wasn't because nothing is free or cheap. I guess when you're born into what many will call privileged environment, you always want more.

I want a picture with the guards at Buckingham Palaca. I want to lie on the beach in Puerto Rico. I want to explore in the Mayan ruins. I want to learn to snowboard in Norway. I want to go snorkelling in the Great Barrier Reefs. I want to slide down the sand dunes in Dubai. I want to watch the sunset in Hawai'i. I want to ride on a tram in San Francisco.

I want to go places!

Like I said, I feel depressed.

Facebook has that effect on me.

A saturated mind spores depression

2011-02-08T22:21:00.003+13:00

Nothing on my wish list came thru but a pair of peep toe black pumps I bought for myself.

And I don't get to go to Melbourne because I don't qualify for the trip. Part of me really wants to go because of friends but the other part of me doesn't want to because I'll be tied down to work and putting a front. Oh well its only a 4 day/3night trip which will be covered with work. I would rather go for pleasure.

I really really really want to go back to NZ this year. I miss my life there and I miss the people there too...

haihz.

2 to 5..

2011-01-26T22:25:00.002+13:00

Heck! I have decided to do a birthday list. I mean I'm turning 25 next week!!!

So this is what I would like...

1. Season 1 to Season 8 of Will & Grace (downloaded ones also can because its impossible to find the box sets).

2. Season 1 to Season 8 of Project Runway (downloaded ones is find).

3. An external hard disk to fit all the series in.

4. A trip to the hairdresser.

5. A reflexology session.

6. A pair of black heels.

Simple enough eh? :)

Damn. 1/4 century and I have so many places to go to! Like..

1. Vietnam
2. Laos
3. New Zealand
4. Australia
5. UK
6. Venice
7. Spain
8. Chile
9. Brazil
10. Norway
11. San Francisco
12. Hawai'i
13. Fiji
14. Peru

So... many places.. so little time.

oiling my way up

2011-01-25T16:07:00.002+13:00

There is this under lying understanding of bribery. I use the term bribery because to put it bluntly and in layman's terms it is plain outright bribery. But you see, here its not seen as bribery. It is seen as a "token of appreciation". A token of appreciation that can apparently take you far. And its the only way things work around here. Well not the only but definitely the grease that oils the machine.

I can call a million dollars a token of appreciation too! I have been "asked" to contribute a few times now but I can't bring myself to do so. And no, its not a million bucks but still. Just the thought of it somewhat irks the shit out of me. It doesn't seem right. Maybe I'm just being naive and trying to be all idealistic and shit.

The point of my writing this out is because I had a moment of weakness. A moment of weakness where I jump on the "brib" wagon to oil my way into the hearts of certain eastern counterparts. And I'm like what the heck! No! I'm not doing it! I think my moment of weakness is caused by the sense of belonging and the sense of being left out. That makes me sound super pathetic right?

Ah well.

Ain't gonna do it.

____________________

It's Claire's birthday today. We (Amil, Michelle, Eugene and I) went out for dinner together and had a good time. And today, we're going out for lunch. Both Claire and I. She's 23. I was 23 two years ago. I'm turning 25 next week! omg! 1/4 century old! omg!

Now I feel like going on a shopping spree. fck.

Age

2011-01-19T21:43:00.002+13:00

Tis' the season of birthdays.

Did I mention I kinda hate growing up?

From make up and boys to credit cards and tax claims. What's next? Wedding venues and wedding dresses to diapers and breast feeding?

omg.

University life seems like ages ago for some reason. Working does suck the living day lights out of you huh?

I miss it a lot you know. The mid night chai lattes to the beach & morning after breakfast at the Farmer's Market. The studying into the night and running out of the exam hall, screaming inside because you're done for the semester (when an Asian goes screaming, there's something wrong. When a Kiwi goes screaming, they're just uni kids).

Honestly, I would do anything to live it again with the same bunch of people.

I can't wait for the big reunion in 2014!

I miss everyone. I really do.

wabbittt!

2011-01-18T21:34:00.002+13:00

The year begun slow and steady.

With me falling asleep on the couch at 3am in Dyan and Rod's.

Well fast forwarding to recent events, I sold my first unit of the year last week (the 2nd week of work). Pretty good eh?

Other than that, I have made some new year's resolution in the hopes of changing some stuff about how I want to live my life. You know growing up a bit.

1. Dress up more corpora-ty. I know corpora-ty isn't exactly the word of a grown up but eh. I'm starting something right? Anyways, I have been dressing up more for work since I started. No flats. Always in heels. Barefoot in the office of course.

2. Better time management. Arrange more work appointments and not appointments to meet at D'Legends (its now our official Friday Night drinks place to be). And also to Make time for my other new year resolutions.

3. Go places! Travelling! Which brings me to my first holiday out of KL. I'm going to Danok and Hat Yai for the first time this weekend with the Gohs. More new first time places to go to! Sri Lanka, watch out!!! :)

4. Lose weight. Trying to stay off rice for lunch and even if I do have rice, its has been cut into half since I started work. No late night meals. And I'm going to join the new gym at Mont Kiara. Fitness First, here I come!

5. Make me some moolah! Yup. As much as I hate to admit it but I need them moolah for my new years resolutions.

6. Read more! Start building my little library! The sweetest thing was when the bf started looking at space saving ways to have a lil library! lol. Yay! more books! In the midst of that, I discovered Alexandra Potter. Chick lit: yes. Soppy chick lit: no. I'm reading her second book now. Will go get more soon! Before heading to Danok of course! :)

Discovering more responsibilities and watching people achieve the things I want to achieve fuels me. I used to be quite the competitive person when I was younger and I think coming back to the Malaysian environment has fuelled me yet again.

The growing up, the competitive streak. An explaination? I don't know.

Maybe because I'll be 25 in a few weeks.

crap.

Is it Lent yet?

2010-11-23T15:49:00.003+13:00

I was on Facebook when I see that Astrid has tagged me in one of her post. She has put up her Christmas wish list which includes a DS and a tera hard disk... among the many. Expensive stuff. But oh well its a wish list after all and it does not necessarily mean you will get everything on that list.

Anyways it got me thinking. What do I want for Christmas and the only thing that keeps popping in my mind is freaking head phones that I can use in the office. So I have decided, like Astrid, I will put up my own Christmas Wish list, but unlike Astrid, I will do it in the "privacy" of my own blog.

My 2010 Christmas Wish List

1. As mentioned, head phones. More specifically, Skull Candy ones.

2. Box sets: Harry Potter (when the last one comes out, I don't mind delayed Xmas Pressies), Grey's Anatomy, Will and Grace. That's all I can think of right now...)

3. A trip to New Zealand.

4. Stamps and Ink pads, the arts and craft types not the office ones.

5. A trip to the UK

6. Bed sheets (but I'm very particular about thread counts... )

7. Shopping voucher for Ikea (for when I move into my new place).

8. A minimum of 3 sales a month for the year 2011.

9. Simple classy woody picture frames (for when I move into my new place).

10. TV for my Harry Potter marathon

11. Some decent sound system that would make my Harry Potter marathon awesome!

12. A driver

13. Buckets of paint... (if I can paint my new place la).

That's all I can think of.

I think I better get back to work..

a long time coming

2010-11-18T20:37:00.002+13:00

Its been so long since I last wrote anything in here. I miss it.

Everything in my head has become to saturated since. And I realised that I have become a lot more bitchier too. I have gone back to making judgements and not liking a lot of people. Which makes my job a lil' harder.

Talking about my job. I have developed this love hate relationship with it and I am still very on the fence about how I feel about this job. The satisfaction only comes in little burst (when I make a sale). There isn't really much of a high.

You know the episode when Meredith comes out of the OR after one of her first surgeries, and she ask Derek why would anyone want to do drugs? and she was high on what she was doing, her job, operating on people.

The question is, will I ever get that 'high'?

That is just the job front.

Claire and I are moving out. We have decided that the house is too toxic for our sanity. There's too much to elaborate but this is what I can say... suffocation has never really been an issue. I realised that I'm a nomad. A girl with no home. I never felt at home since I got back to KL for good last year. Its been a year now. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.

I guess in many ways I am very blessed because I have been given the opportunity to step out of the box. View things from the outside. Making decisions and settling on certain point of view from outside the box makes certain things more bearable. I don't know how I survived before moving out for 5 years.

And now, I'm glad I can afford to move out. I wish I has enough money to get Michelle out too. I will. Eventually. I guess its time to be cruel to be kind.

Christmas is 'round the corner again. And we're all heading to Singapore.

Deirdre is pregnant and its a boy. Expected arrival in April. No more "Let's Party!" .. its now "BABY SHOWER!".

Life is definitely changing. But situations somewhat remains the same.

Ain't life just grand?

work update

2010-07-22T15:42:00.002+12:00

As interesting as it may get. Some days is just a major bore.

I'm starting to really enjoy my work. Had a chance to go to Singapore last weekend for a commercial property expo at Hilton. Very interesting..

Met some really nice Singaporean and some psycho ones too. But it was all good. I have my gracious colleagues to thank for. On Saturday night, I met up with Nashreen and Tash. Had a pretty good time. We ended up at Tash's usual place, "Attica". Pretty good music. Mixed crowd. Reminds me a bit like Monkey Bar with nicer fittings and better music... the people, similar to Monkey Bar. Brings back oh so many memories.

Anyways, as part of an unofficial initiation thing, we're all going to Sultan Lounge this Friday for Hed Kandi!

And THEN! on the 4th of August, I'll be going for CALVIN HARRIS! at Zouk! Dyan rallied up a group of pumped up people to go so yeah!!! hehehe. AND both EUGENE and RODNEY are really psyched about it!

Now I have to find a way to get a day off. Hmm... its going to be a lil tough since emergency and medical leaves has been tighten. I shall find a way!!

Anyways, its back to work for me!

Ciao!

Money talks.

2010-07-03T21:31:00.002+12:00

I got a new job.

But I don't know if I'm comfortable. I mean, it has only been 2 days... but I'm definitely not excited about it. More like uneasy. I don't do well with numbers and I hate selling things to people. Especially things that cost between 300k to 1.6 million aussie dollars. I don't don't know how I'm going to do this. The money is only good if I can sell a minimum of 30 property a year. haihz. I don't know la.

I told myself that I'll give me about 3 months. And I think I will. I don't wanna quit just like that. Not exactly getting much support for this.. that's for sure. It's more like, "Yay! She's off her ass and earning some dosh".

I just hope I'm wrong about this.

Boost Up!

2010-05-19T16:01:00.003+12:00

I still have my job. And its getting slightly better. Been super busy now that things have been set in stone... so Doraemon, here I come!

Here I am, sitting at Starbucks with my boss and colleague (aka Wynton and Kyle), waiting for our next meeting. As I started my work (too much to do!), I see these two people carrying a green Styrofoam cups.... I recognised those Styrofoam cups ANYWHERE... IT'S BOOST JUICE!!! HERE IN KL! tucked away in a corner in Bangsar Village 1!

PEOPLE! GO GET YOURSELF SOME HEALTHY YUMMY SMOOTHIIEEEE~!

To my delight, I took my purse and off I went to get myself a mango tango crush (mango, passionfruit, mango nectar, sorbet and ice). I am a happy girl...

To make matters better, it is a gloomy day! Hardly any sun... I'm praying it would rain.. then I am officially on cloud9.

I went for West Side Story last Sunday night with the Gohs (Eugene, Dyan, Rodney, Li Ping, Auntie Gert, Uncle Christopher, Uncle Mui and Auntie Mei Ling). It was AWESOME! Money well spent. I have never spent so much for something like this in Malaysia before.. but it was worth it.

On the couple front, Wynton and Astrid got together and my baby sister is no longer single. hehehe.

On the family front, same old same old... The up side is, I finally met Wayne, Adam and Uncle Fred in Singapore. It was awesome. A week later, Wayne came to KL and we partied the night away. Melvin turned 21 and we had in at Uncle Nuebert's place. He graciously allowed us to use his house for the party. That was a good night too...

Anyways.. back to work...

:P

hot rocks.

2010-05-03T06:18:00.004+12:00

It is too fucking hot! I'm sweating while sitting on the cool floor with the fan on number three! I can't take my top off in case my melo-dramatic brother walks out of his room.

Anyways, my job is on rocks. I have 1.75months pay yet to be banked into my account. So there is an unofficial strike at the moment. I need the cash... Don't we all?

I need a side job. Badly.

Haihz.

the door of the plane closes.

2010-04-18T22:40:00.002+12:00

As I was lazing on the bed this morning, eugene throws me the today's paper and tells me to read it. And on the front page of the middle section is about the kids who don't belong... Here's the whole article..

___________________________________________________________

Who am I?
By CHAN LI-JIN

Having a foot in different countries gives children a wider world view. But they could end up feeling they don’t belong anywhere.

SO tell me, are you born and bred here?”

Barely seated comfortably yet, I was taken aback by Ruth Van Reken’s question as we settled down for an exclusive interview in Petaling Jaya recently.

Ruth Van Reken: ‘No one talks of the loss that comes with the closing of an airplane door.’
Even as I replied “Yes”, I knew it was a simplified answer. How could I explain to this foreigner that I was born in Johor Baru but had spent the last two decades of my life in Kuala Lumpur, yet my father was from Penang? And why would these details matter anyway?

As the interview progressed, however, I found myself telling Van Reken more and more of myself and the Malaysian context of our discussion. It was easy to sense that this 64-year-old author of two books, Letters Never Sent and Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, was as interested in knowing me as I was to know her.

This is hardly surprising, as Van Reken has been listening to others’ stories for the last two decades since Letters was published in 1987. Written as a journal and initially titled Letters I Never Wrote, the book was written in the form of letters to her parents, beginning with her first night at boarding school, when Ruth was six. It continues through the years when her parents stayed on in Nigeria after sending her back to the United States (her mother’s birthplace) at the age of 13.

When she completed the book, no publisher thought the story was worth any money, Van Reken recalled. So she published it herself. And when it hit the stores, she started receiving tons of letters from readers who said they could relate to her pain and grief of being a third culture kid (TCK).

So what exactly is a TCK?

Simplistically, it refers to the children of people who live and work abroad, away from their passport country. Research shows that these children who lead highly migratory lives tend to battle issues of rootlessness, restlessness, fractured relationships, cultural imbalance and lack of belonging, even though they were also developing a large world view, multi-lingual abilities and friendships with people from different cultural backgrounds.

In Third Culture Kids, Van Reken and sociologist co-author Prof David Pollock profile the practical, emotional and psychological benefits and challenges in the reality of what they refer to as “growing up among worlds”. The major challenges of this nomadic lifestyle are related to dealing with the often hidden losses and the perpetual search for identity.

The first edition of Third Culture Kids, published in 1999, became an international bestseller very quickly. Readers sent her heart-wrenching, humorous, sometimes thought-provoking stories describing their migratory lives. They ranged from military families to those in the foreign service, children of missionaries, and even children of multiracial families, immigrants and minority groups.

“That’s when David (Pollock) and I realised that the topic covered a much wider scope than we imagined,” Van Reken said. The revised version ofthe book, released in 2009, continues to draw global attention from people who feel they have finally found the reason behind their lifetime search for answers.

The revised version expanded on the TCK term, and included definitions for adult third culture kids (ATCK), cross cultural kids (CCK), and even people moving within their own country who feel ostracised by the differing cultures, social practices and unspoken community rules in each different state.

Their different experiences notwithstanding, they all share the same dilemma: Who exactly am I?

Van Reken explained: “TCKs always feel out of place and abnormal, especially when teachers ask, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ They face problems filling forms where they need to mark ‘race’ and ‘nationality’. Having to explain what they fill poses another problem!”

She speaks from experience. Growing up as a white person in Africa, she always knew she didn’t “belong” among the dark-skinned children. “Kids on the streets used to call out ‘white girl, white girl’ and tug at my clothes on the streets,” she reminisced.

Her parents were teachers and ran a small school for African children, so even as a little girl she knew she was among the privileged back in those colonial days. But she also knew she would leave one day, as her mother kept a small table at the end of the classroom where she was taught American culture to prepare young Ruth for the inevitable repatriation.

“But there’s only so much you can learn from books. When I first arrived in the United States as a young teenager, the first question my classmates asked was, ‘Where are you from?’ Having lived in Africa all my childhood, I replied ‘Nigeria’.

When her friends exclaimed with disbelief, “You don’t look African”, she realised it was the wrong answer.

“But Nigeria was my home for the first 13 years of my life – all my friends, my nanny and my world were there. What was I supposed to say?” Van Reken said, smiling at the recollection.

Although she now looked just like everyone in her predominantly white, mono-culture school in the United States, once again she felt that she didn’t belong.

“I never learnt to swim like everyone else, yet I could bargain really well in a wet market. My first attempt to get a hamburger was a huge embarrassment. I didn’t know there were extra tax charges so I only brought exact change.”

Identity crises tore at Ruth. By the time she turned 14, she no longer told anyone about her African childhood. She studied nursing, married a paediatrician at 22 and went on to have three children.

In her mid-20s, she returned to visit her parents in Africa when her husband was posted to Liberia. All at once, she was hit by the familiarity of the warm earthy tones, the pungent smells of cooking, the animated sounds of the Hausa language among the locals.

But it was no longer the same. Her parents had moved to a different place. She also had two siblings whom she hardly knew.

“My old house was gone, together with all I knew and loved. It hurt me deeply to know I’d lost them forever. I never even said goodbye.”

Van Reken stayed in Liberia with her young family for a few years until political unrest forced them to return to the United States. At every point, she always took everything in her stride, going with the flow until she turned 39 and went into a deep depression.

“Suddenly I was questioning everything that had happened in my life and why I felt this void deep inside. I didn’t understand why I felt such deep sadness when I had had such a happy and loving childhood surrounded by parents, grandparents, relatives and friends.

Van Reken’s books triggered a flood of response from readers who could relate to the pain of being TCKs.

“That was when I started Letters Never Sent, as part of my grief therapy. They were mostly letters to my parents, talking about everyday events and wishing they were there, as a six- or 13-year-old who had just been sent off to a faraway school. By looking back at my experiences, I discovered what I needed was a closure to my beautiful childhood days, which I’d tried to suppress since moving back to US,” she said.

“Whenever people mention loss, what always comes to mind is the loss of a parent through death or divorce, a loved one, a pet, a best friend. No one talks of the loss that comes with the closing of an airplane door, when one leaves a place.

“A part of me died the day I first flew out of Africa. And I needed to mourn the loss in order to overcome the grief.”

Since then, Van Reken has been travelling around the world to counsel and talk about the impact of high mobility on TCKs to teachers, parents and policy makers. She was in Malaysia recently to conduct similar programmes for some international schools in Petaling Jaya.

Her mission now is to help TCKs and their families deal with the challenges so that they can use the many gifts in their childhood as well.

“With their international exposure, travelling opportunities and cross-cultural upbringing, most TCKs have excellent social and adaptive skills. They are also more likely to see people beyond colour, race and nationality and have a broader world view.”

She points out that these benefits can be harvested to benefit the child’s wholesome development instead of being allowed to fester into a life-long sense of searching for a place to belong.

So does Van Reken feel “at home” in Indianapolis, where she lives now?

“Yes and no, because I’ve got little bits of me all over the world. I’ve learnt to make myself at home anywhere in the world. All that matters is making the best of things right here, right now. I don’t try to fit in any more, now that I know where I stand as a TCK.”

As we parted ways, I thought of what Van Reken said about not knowing what to cross under “Race” in official forms. My children are of Chinese and Malay parentage, and I often wonder what they should fill in this section. Then again, I thought about us Chinese “bananas”, second- or third-generation Chinese Malaysians. Most of us cannot read or speak Chinese any more; we attend Malay national schools, yet think, read and write in English.

Then there are the people from Terengganu, Kelantan or Sabah who have settled in Kuala Lumpur or other parts of the country. Their children will very likely never speak the dialect distinct only to their state, and many will never know the culture and lifestyle of their parents and ancestors.

Are these children TCKs too?

Definitely. In today’s highly mobile and complex environment, perhaps there will come a time when every Malaysian is a TCK in one way or other. Except here, we have a different term for it – 1Malaysia.

■ ‘Third Culture Kids’ can be obtained through Navigate Together Sdn Bhd (navtogether.com). For enquiries, e-mail admin@navtogether.com or call Mike Cannon at 017-200 3685.

_____________________________

I have to say. Its been a long time since I read a really good article from our local newspaper. Well.. I liked it anyways. I know I have only been away for a very short period of time. But by the third year I was away, I began to feel alienated from my own country, some of my friends and even sometimes, my own family. I feel like I'm now beginning to learn to ropes of my own birth country again.

I have no clue about what have been going in the last 5 years and I'm slowly (but surely) learning about it. I have friends who are sick and tired of the Malaysian night life while I'm slowly beginning to enjoy it again. It's like my growing up process in Malaysia took a back seat while I explored life in Australisia.

I miss being away from home. There are times when I wish I was going back to New Zealand and enjoying a cuppa and a cig with Jess and Janice in Governors or visiting Elaine and Darren in Wellington or going fishing with the boys or just bumming doing absolutely nothing on a super boring monday night with CC and Eugene. Come to think of it, maybe its not so much the place but the lifestyle in general.

Maybe I'm still getting used to the working life while missing the student life of being away.

Now one thing is for sure, I'm moving out. Just the matter of when and stabilizing my finances then I'm outta there.

ps. Melvin turned 21. Tristan turned 2. I'm going to Langkawi. I still have a job. Amen.

The most comfortable chair is taken.

2010-03-30T22:29:00.002+13:00

Been working for almost 2 months now. Learning alot, that's for sure. But here's the thing, I'm the only girl most of the time. Feels like I'm back in school. The only thing is, they realise I'm a girl and they're butching me up. Oh well.. its fun most of the time so I'm not gonna complain much. Not that there's nothing to complain about... there's shit loads but I shall not pollute my blog with things like that.

Been wanting to blog for quite sometime now but my stupid comp can't get into blogspot because the OS is FAKE! ANYWAYS.. back to me! (I have every right to be conceited in my blog).

I think my self esteem is like a bitchy PMS thing most girls go through. Its more erratic than usual. I know I'm in a long term relationship but its just nice to know that a decent guy is checking you out. All I get these days are old man... and I mean old. I'm 24 and slightly over weight (the biggest I have ever been); thats definitely not something young men, wait let me rephrase that, young asian men are into. If I'm not "spilling out" in "confidence", I would be a wall paper. You know that scene where some guys actually sat on Mia in Princess Diaries because they didn't notice her? I feel that most of the time.

Its not that I don't appreciate my bf for loving me the way I am etc etc... like I said, its nice to know that someone genuinely "checks you out". I know its shallow and all but... thats just how I feel la. Friends will always say you look good la etc etc but you know what, friends do a lot of things to make you feel better. Sometimes, the reality is, we live in a materialistic world and not one gives a shit about the below average girl. But I can tell you one thing, the below average ones are the ones guys bring home to their mothers, not the ones they parade out.

So which one are you?
Can't I have both?

Not all that hardcore am I?

senior event exec

2010-02-09T23:02:00.001+13:00

I got a job!!

It's my 7th day at work and I'm enjoying it!

long time coming...

2010-01-18T23:01:00.004+13:00

Alot has happened since my last post.

So a little recap of my three plans ya?

Item one:
1.1: Stay away from trackies and over-sized t-shirts | big t-shirt for sleeping and NO TRACKIES IN SIGHT!

1.2: sales, shoes, clothes, bags, clubbing, concerts, road trips, late night bumming in parks, coffee till 3am and mamaks at some un-Godly hour. | yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, not yet, and yes.

Item two:
2.1: Job hunting | sent out my resume to about 6-7 places and so far, nothing. been going thru job search engines and newspapers. nothing.

2.2: Money | no job = no money. however, I do get some sort of an allowance. like 100bucks a week! kinda sad that I'm turning 24 soon and I live on 100 bucks a week. I don't think I have ever felt this pathetic in a damn bloody long time. Yes.. there is some sort of frustration here and I'm trying to stay positive...

You know, staying positive is also staying in denial. The simple act of writing it down just made it worst... because it gives me this jolt of reality.

Item three:
3.1: Moving out | I have set goals. Yes. GOALS. I'm giving myself until June to move out or 3 months after I get a job. Because than, I would have some money saved up to move out in peace and no worry about money so much like a sad poor uni student.

----------

So thats my update of my three items. Because I am an official unemployed bum, I had a lot of time to think about stuff. I realise that I am not getting any younger. I am turning 24 in about 2 weeks. I have decided to make short term goals.

1. Move out (the obvious)
2. Get my PADI Licence.
3. Climb Mount Kinabalu.
4. TRAVEL at least 3-4 times a year. (Anywhere out of Klang Valley)
5. Save my money towards getting my own place.

-----------

More bumming thoughts..

Here's my birthday wishlist.

1. Gillette Mach 5
Reason: It gives a better shave. I don't understand why women's razors are not like that. Haihz...

2. Gym Membership.
Reason: It rather obvious for those who knows me now.

3. A Job
Reason: Yet another obvious question. Let's just say this girl has alot of materialistic needs which needs satisfying.

4. Spa treatment or just the simple reflexology.
Reason: Because a girl needs to pamper herself la! ask Rodney, he knows best! =)

5. A new handphone and line.
Reason: My phone is falling to pieces. Been using the same phone since 2006. Yes, the horror... BUT this is only reserved for my dad! not like he know about it yet... but he will... by this weekend. =)

6. shopping vouchers
Reason: I HAVE NO WORK CLOTHES! seriously! NONE! and every girl lovessss shopping! =)

That's all I can think off...

OHHHH... and spending new year's with Jess, Elaine, Astrid and the rest of the church people was an awesome start to the new years.. and and and going for bassment jaxx with Tracy and my darling sister on the second day of new years and bumming into sherinaz and firman was AWESOME! =)

=) GTG.. amil and claire old town word board games session.

Elaine: I get you!! I feel like my brain cells are dying..

Unemployed Bum Out!

french fries and garlic butter

2009-12-08T22:59:00.004+13:00

I don't know what to expect once I head home for good. But there are three main things that I have been pondering on... it may seem rather immature but... oh well.. I'm currently a bum and I am, most of the time, moulding on Cumberland street. So...

Item no.1:

One thing that I'm looking forward to is losing weight and getting back to the old me and staying away from over sized t-shirts and trackies.

I'm excited about getting back to the much FASTER paced KL lifestyle. I think I've been stuck behind for the passed 2.5 years and I have to catch up again. Back to being the city girl and that is one thing I can't wait for, to be honest. I can't wait for sales, shoes, clothes, bags, clubbing, concerts, road trips, late night bumming in parks, coffee till 3am and mamaks at some un-Godly hour.

Item no.2:

The 'exciting' world of job hunting... the rat race... the money chasing. Whatever you call it, I'm still an underdog as I have almost next to no experience what-so-ever. At least, its my own country and I do not have to be subjected to annoying red tapes such as work permits etc.

I am freaking out but I have to start and I have to start asap. Why? Like every oil infested red blooded Malaysian.. I am ultimately broke. I do not have a generous father and I have materialistic and adventurous needs such as shoes, gym and travelling. And in order to achieve all that, I need a job to get money.

Item no.3:

I need money to move out. After staying away from home for the passed 5 years, I don't know if I can take staying at home for long periods of time. Don't get me wrong. I love my mother and sisters and (occasionally) my dramatic brother. But I don't think I can stand living in that hyper tension world without blowing up and (maybe) regretting my not so nice words. I need some sort of shelter I call my own.

I mean, there is no place for me at the moment. I have to share a room with my MOTHER. A girl at the age of 23 (turning 24 in 2 months) and living with her mother in HER ROOM is not cool... mentally and emotionally.

-----

Conclusion:

Do you see a common trend here? They ALL require freaking money!!!
So..

I WILL GET A JOB BY MY BIRTHDAY!!!
or I will be one miserable, over weight 24 year old in her over-sized t-shirt and trackies, sitting on her mother's sofa, watching Astro and munching on pasar malam food.

A time for for everything.

2009-12-02T15:05:00.002+13:00

Uni is once again over for me but this time its for real.

I just got my results, A- for my dissertation!!! and the rest are one B+ and two Bs. I am really really happy about my grades. I mean from constantly failing through out my high school life and college life to completing my uni life on a high is awesome.

Then there the decision of what to do next. Of course, the money making process is about to commence so I made a choice to move back home. Eugene and I will be leaving Dunedin for good in a couple of weeks. I guess its for the good. I can't tell if thats the best option but I guess sometimes we just have to dive in to find out.

Will write more later..

ciao for now.

The I want List! (episode 3)

2009-10-13T19:51:00.002+13:00

Thanks to CC not wanting to go and CC's mom for inviting me. I'm going to watch Julie and Julia on Monday (19th Oct)! woohooo~!

Anyways, here's what I want to watch once I hand in my dissertation:
1. Bruno
2. Coco Avant Chanel
3. Couples Retreat
4. An education
5. Fame

And I have yet to watch:
1. Year One
2. The Ugly truth

Here's what I want to do once I hand in my dissertation:
1. Go fishing at the Peninsular.
2. Go to lake Waihola.
3. Go to Moeraki Boulders.
4. Get drunk and party.
5. BUM
6. Clean and throw all the stuff I don't want.
7. WATCH everything we got from Bobby's hard drive.

okay.. back to work...

from the "pom"

2009-08-30T03:30:00.002+12:00

- Absolutely no need to reply, just wishing you the best of luck and inspiration from a person who's usual cheers come along the lines of "fuck it, we'll all be dead soon..."- says the Scruffy Australian with dirty chugs.

help!

2009-08-21T23:34:00.004+12:00

I... have... no... life.

I'm home on a Friday night writing my damn thesis.

Do you know how hard it is to find reliable sources? and here's what I need.

a) Did Bobby Brown (dubbed King of New Jack Swing) performed on the 5th of May 1993 in PWTC?

b) Krash Kozz's biggest achivement was when Billboard magazine certified their album as the first hip hop album recorded by Malaysian artist.

I need reliable sources! like newspaper articles or something.

AND does ANYBODY know how I can contact Adly Shairi Ramly of Malay Mail? I don't know if he still works there or not. I need to find out his sources for his article on Malaysian hip hop history.

OMG! I'm freaking out. I need to finish my work before I go back in 2 weeks! I'm only at about 7ooo words! I need another at least 8ooo to go!

I need a breather. and maybe a beer?

Doomsday. You think?

2009-08-05T21:22:00.002+12:00

We are yet to find out what will happen. And I don't have a good feeling about it. When I read the text mummy sent me, I started having this sinking feeling. Like something bad is boiling up. It feels really uneasy. I really hope for everyone's sake that I'm wrong.

There's so much running through my head right now... and its really noisy.

The I want list (Episode 2)

2009-08-03T23:01:00.002+12:00

Here's the next list of movies I want to watch.

1. Veronika decides to die.
2. Post Grad
3. The Proposal
4. Julie & Julia
5. The Ugly Truth
6. Year One

And here's the list of things I want to do when I get home.
1. Have my teh o'ais limau.
2. Shop for shoes for wedding.
3. Spend time with my friends.
4. Laze on mummy's couch.
5. Banana leaf at PJ.
6. Nasi Lemak on Jalan Kuching.
7. Must have dim sum (because I have not eaten dim sum in Malaysia since I was a kid!)
8. Alot of swimming.
9. Party party party!
10. Hopefully I'll be able to meet up with Nashreen.

LIfe in bullet points..

2009-08-01T14:58:00.003+12:00

So little time left to finish all my work. I really hope I'll be able to complete everything. But at the same time, I can't wait to get home... I think I really need it... big time. I can't wait to see mummy, claire, melvin and michelle. I can't wait to see Kevin and Layka. I can't wait to laze on mummy's couch watching star world and hbo. I can't wait for Bangsar Nasi Lemak or Nasi Lemak Bapak. I can't wait for banana leaf and cheap movie tickets. I can't wait for shoe shopping and cheap clothes. I can't wait for the wedding and all the wedding stuff to do. I can't wait to see my bride's maid dress. And hopefully, I'll get a chance to meet up with Nashreen after so many years...

Its yet another sunny day in winter. And I'm in bed, typing out an entry after so many weeks and hoping that I'll be able to just do both my presentations today. But I might be hoping for too much. I'm really starting to freak out about my thesis presentation. Thank God I'm not the first so if I ever need to change something at the last minute, I'll still have the time.

I want to go fishing. But from the looks of things, I won't be going fishing for a LONG time. And I didn't even get to test out my new purple fishing rod yet.

I need to start looking for a job.... haihz. Hating the fact that my life is finally about to begin. Its scary out there... but I don't have much of a choice I suppose. Job hunt! Here I come!

updates

2009-07-12T05:37:00.003+12:00

1. Michael jackson died.
2. Farrah fawcett died.
3. I missed my exam because of the snow.
4. Thivya is here in Dunedin to do her degree.
5. Elaine gave us a surprise visit from Welly.
6. Vijay said I should consider my Masters if I do well this semester.
7. Queenstown trip on the 24th of July.
8. Michelle started college.
9. Harry Potter 6 coming out on the 15th.
10. I'm going to watch HP6 on the 15th.
11. I won my first poker game (after more than 50 hands) with pocket Jacks and two more Jacks on the table with the last Jack on the river card,
12. Jess, Janice and I made Kuih Bahulu.
13. Elaine, Janice, Jess and I made Assam Laksa.
14. Jess, Janice and I made Ba Chang.
15. All from scratch.
16. Went and got our (Sab and I) measurements for bride's maids dresses.
17. ROD and DYAN are legally MARRIED! Their registration was on the 1st of July.
18. Too many people getting married and having babies.
19. I need to cut my hair, its seriously getting out of shape.
20. I want.need new jeans and shorts.
21. Need to look for dress and shoes for wedding reception.

Malaysian Censorship Board

2009-06-04T23:18:00.002+12:00

I am going insane. wait. That's an understatement.

I'm doing more in depth research for my paper. It is seems almost impossible for me to look for the censorship policy on music in Malaysia. Does the Malaysian censorship board only address films? I asked nick and he said that hitz fm do have rules to follow in terms of what they can or cannot broadcast but its not something that I can freely get. Its only available to the higher ups. Same thing goes for Mindshare when I asked Astrid.

What the hell am I gonna do?
So I made sugee cake. for comfort. and cranberry juice. I'm addicted. btw, it goes really well with vodka too. =)

ps. Thanks Edwan for putting me one step closer to finding out what I need for my paper.

The I want List (Episode 1)

2009-05-28T18:25:00.003+12:00

I want List : Movies I want to watch during semester break.

1. Bride Wars
2. He's just not that into you
3. Fast and Furious 4
4. Angels and Demons
5. Dance Flick
6. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
7. Diary of a shopaholic
8. I love you, man!
9. What women want.
10. Kung Fu Panda
11. Harry Potter and the half-blood Prince

Meatloaf!

2009-05-27T01:42:00.005+12:00

I made meatloaf today.
First time.
Thanks to Foodwishes.com
But I tweeked it a bit.
Meatloaf with mushroom/onion brown sauce and fresh salad for dinner! Yay! Hehehe

Okay back to work. 7 pages to go! Everyone is the in lounge, chilling and here I am.. typing away. Haihz.

Little updates,

2009-05-25T22:42:00.003+12:00

Its been a while huh..?

Well.. its apparently confirmed.. that woman is gonna have a baby boy and he is raving about it to everyone. It is after all his precious wife. out with the old and in with the new right?

on a happier note, kimberly gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I'm so happy for her. and darling tristan just turned one. so anymore babies anyone???

I feel so young and old at the same time. young because i am still rather naive about the real world aka. working life. and at the same time, old because people my around my age are getting married or already married or married with a kid. I'm not where near such life changing stages yet. I'm a young old 23 year old.

Pictures of Wellington is up on facebook btw. Did i tell you.. I'm in love. *wait for it* With. *wait for it* Wellington!!!

Oh ya. and Yoong wei and Yvonne was in dunedin. They arrived on friday, so Gene and I took them for drinks at Toast and they liked it alot. Then the next morning, they went to Bluff for the bluff fest. Back in Dunedin on Sunday. Had dinner with him and Yvonne then drinks at Barakah. And they headed back to Hamilton on Monday morning. He looks the same. It was 5 years since I saw him. So meeting up with him was good.

Anyways..

Time to fold the clothes, change the bed sheets and start on my report and abstract.

Tata for now.

oooohhhh yeeaaaahhhhhh!

2009-05-06T03:48:00.001+12:00

I am going to Wellington!!!

Ciao Dunedin!
See you in a few days!
Yay!!!!

party party! :P

15 stones.

2009-04-19T22:43:00.002+12:00

Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up.
'Alex Kerav - Season 5 Episode 19'

So true don't you think?

Its only human nature isn't it?

I guess for many it is the case. I know it is for me and alot of people I know. To know what is good for you, you need to know whats bad. To know what is white is to know what is black. To know what death is, you need to know what living is all about.

Got some problems with my visa. Trying to get my police cert settled. But as usual, depending on him always causes major delay. But then again, whats new right?

women; the makers of meaning

2009-04-09T03:46:00.003+12:00

So, being a true blue Malaysian, I procrastinated on extended abstract. Thanks to the bf, I think I got my sentence structures down... at 3am... hehe. When I finally got to uni to hand it in (thanks to Sahel for the ride to uni), it was raining cats and dogs! To make things worst, my first very own usb stick decides that the comps in uni is not worthy! Paulette at the Media Department was kind enough to help me print my work to hand it in half an hour later! oh well..

So, after all the drama, I decided that since its Easter break, I'm gonna bum and play Buzz until Sunday then I will seriously get started on my work on Monday. After writing down all due dates in my trusty (but not fully used) diary, I realised that from week 8, I have back to back assignments due until the end of this sem!! AND I have to finish my write up by the 1st of SEPTEMBER!!! Which brings me to my next good news...

Its confirmed!!
I'll be back in KL in September for the wedding! Since my very kind father decided to ignore my sms about the ticket back, I decided to pay for it myself with mummy's approval. You see, if I paid it for myself, I will not be obligated to see him and his new edition to his little family. Sorry, got a little side tracked...

ANYWAYS..,.
I'll be arriving at about 8pm Malaysian time on the 4th of Sept and leaving KL on the 28th night.. so i'll be bacl for about 3 1/2 weeks!! woott woottt!

OOoooo... I wanna thank RDZ for replying! Thanks dude!!

Gonna watch me some ANTM with the bf now..

ps. I found dreamfall on xbox!!! but not on xboz360... haihz.. gonna ask Macky if we could update his xbox360 so I can play dreamfall.. hehehe.

ppss?. Macky heading to Brisbane and Richard heading to Perth. Lucky people...

pppsss?. I got 16/20 for my presentation on Richard Dyer!!! good marks for someone who thought she'll be lucky to even get 10!

The matter of images.

2009-04-01T02:10:00.003+13:00

I'm no suppose to.. but I am.

Here I am, sitting in the lounge at 2.18am trying to polish my presentation and I'm writing my blog which I have been neglecting. I think after almost 9 years of blogging and 6 years of diary writing, I think I have finally grown up and learnt to keep things to myself rather than spilling my heart out into cyberspace or thin flat pieces of wood.

However, I don't know if its a good thing. (no I'm not shutting down the blog... don't think anyone reads it but oh well..) There's one thing that I realised tho, my head has been getting a lil too crowded. I think if someone or something was able to look into my little head, all they would see are just flashing images of EVERYTHING!

oh well..

I'm hooked on How I met Your Mother.

My supervisor is Dr. Vijay Devadas. Yay! Yes, I like the dude. He's one of the few smokers in the department. And he's Singaporean. His specialty is representation, visual culture, national identity and post colonialism. Intense stuff right? Well my dissertation is gonna be on representation, visual culture and national identity. haihz...

I'm doing it on hip hop culture in Malaysia. And I'm thinking of interviewing hip hop artists in Malaysia. Are they anymore of them??? I'm looking at Reshmonu, Too Phat, Teh Tarik Crew etc. Anyone with any contacts?

I think I better get back to my presentation... on Richard Dyer - Gay activist, academia and feminist theorist... woot woot... -_-

btw, been hanging out with Lucky, Bobby, Mac and the rest of them.. been fun! I met this guy, Dushan (Lucky's housemate)... he was a model from Serbia and he lived in NYC. haha.. he's gay btw and he's fabulous! hehe. Yay! A guy who understands the stress when it comes to shoes. WOOT WOOT~

nos

2009-03-05T14:12:00.002+13:00

Your hands gets burn by fire and you stay away from it. It gets pretty fucked up with you miss and long to be close to fire again.

Facebook is evil.
and
I'm stupid for falling for it.

upset tummy

2009-03-03T02:36:00.003+13:00

How do you tell someone to stick with it? To roll with the punches? To just put up with all the shit for a bit longer? How do you tell someone who have had all that luxury that has turned into a necessity, taken away from them in a glimpse of an eye?

I know its not easy. But everyone has been through it and for some, they have gone through it many times over. But how do you tell someone who is going through it for the first time? How do you seek comfort from someone who may have never gone through it or have gone through it so many times it has become a way of life?

Am I making any sense at all? I'm making all the sense in the world in my little head of mine. But I not sure if I'm making any sense to someone else out there.

I just called Kevin and spoke to him for a bit. I'm absolutely so happy for him and he comes bearing shocking news (it is shocking for me at least). Douglas Robin Tan is freaking engaged!! One more getting married. I did mention that Melissa and Shaun are engaged and all right?
That officially makes 1 married one and 2 engaged ones in the confirmation group of 2001/2002. oh what has the world become.

I guess its not really what the world has become but more like what I'm seeing. Someone once told me that even one year makes a lot of difference. What you see when you're 18 is definately not what you see at 19. I argued and said that 1 year don't make much difference especially when you do the same shit everyday. But it does make a difference; I can bite my tongue now.

Even if you do the same thing everyday; but what you see out the window changes every single time you look outside.

And some people just need to fucking grow up.

There is a time for everything.

2009-02-17T16:48:00.002+13:00

I knew it was too good to be true when there was no drama what-so-ever. Just one week before I left KL; a whole lot of shit hit the fan hard!

Let's just say that bitch of a slut's true colours are out for the world to see. I'm just so surprised that everyone is just keeping quiet and until now he doesn't realise it at all! I got a feeling that he would only know about it when it is too late. When that happens, I don't want to be around and I know for a fact that the three of them are in the same boat as me.

Anyways, on a brighter side of things, Thiv is applying for Otago and hopefully Layka will be here with mne too!!! And the wedding plans seems to be going rather smoothly. The venue is booked! The registration date is set! The EE classes are starting soon! And we're all gonna lose weight for the wedding! woottt wooottt!

Classes starting next week. I really need a job badly man. Haihz. Especially when I wanna travel up to Welly at least once this year.

Here's a few somethings I wanna remember for life;
~ Kevin, Layka and I had a lil sleepover the night before I left. I couldn't stop laughing... Kevin was on of the girls and Layka's sides hurt. We need more sleepovers like that. What would I do without those two?

~ Clairessa and I have become closer... and I have Amil to thank for. :)

~ My baby gave me a ring for my birthday. I'm not engaged.

~ I finally for my tattoo! "There is a time for everything" on the 5th of Feb 2009. My first tattoo I got it on the 1st of Feb 2004. I think I should get an extension on my birthday the next time around huh? hehehe.

I can't wait for September! Its gonna be nuts! hehehehe..

bobara

2009-01-08T23:28:00.002+13:00

Once again, its been too long. I'm back in KL since the 21st but because there's no more internet at mummy's, I only check my emails and facebook whenever I'm in Old Town. And you know what?! old town is popping out everywhere like pimples on an adolescent kid!

anyways, Its nice to be back. The shitty part of being back is that everyone is busy working! Yes, working. I'm like trying to prolong my entry into the work force but i know that won't last long and I would eventually have to start working for real. Haihz.

Been to Singapore last weekend. And let me tell you something, I'm so abso-fucking-lutely love my grandparents to bits. Hehe..

Anyways, Tracy has been filling me in on everyone. And its great to know that everyone has graduated and working and making a life for themselves. Its really awesome I tell you.

I really want to go to Penang... sometime this weekend I hope. I miss ms.lim laaa.. haihz.. hehe.
Must get Richard and Gene and Layka and we GO!

I saw Ron for like 5 minutes and met up with Adrian for coffee a couple of days ago. Been catching up with ALOT of people I haven't seen in years! And its nice... plus there's the comfirmation reunion coming up. I honestly can't wait~ =)

Anyways gtg now, need to go to Cheras then back to Mummy's and then we're heading to paint the town red!
ciao!

GA S5E9

2008-12-07T01:59:00.000+13:00

The reason why we're so scared of the dark because we realise we're alone.

Otago Radio House

2008-12-06T01:05:00.002+13:00

It has seriously been a long while since I wrote a somewhat heart-felt post. Or rather, any post at all. Its just that alot has been going on. You know, the little stuff that seems almost insignificant to rant about in your blog. Yes, it is THAT insignificant.

Dunedin has certainly cleared out. Its around the time of year when the number of school kids roaming George Street becomes very obvious. Hardly any uni students around. And of course the night life is also almost non-existant. Unfortunately, since the petrol prices went down, boy racers are out to play. Bloody annoying!

Next week, mummy and Michelle will be in Dunedin! I can't wait! Finally, this will be the first time some sort of family member will know how life like is for me in the passed 4 years. Or at least a small taste of it.

Wednesday - Sab, Tien, Gene and I will be heading to Christchurch.
Thursday - Mummy, Auntie Gert, Uncle Chris and Dyan will be arriving at 11am!!! Then Tien will be leaving at 12pm. We'll be heading back to Dunedin on the same day. Gene and I will be getting our Regalia (hopefully we reach in time)
Friday - We're going further south to Curio Bay! To see the fossilised forest!
Saturday - GRADUATION DAY! Party party party time ya'll! Jesicka's Birthday!! Drunkity-drunk-drunk time!!!
Sunday - Going round Dunedin/Recovery Day
Monday - Queenstown
Tuesday - Wanaka
Wednesday - Back to Dunedin~
Thursday - Mummy leaving. My baby's birthday party!!!
Friday - Recovery Day!
Saturday - Moving to new house!
Sunday - I'll be flying home!!!!

I can almost taste teh o'ais limau!!!

--------------------------------

I just finish watching Made of Honour. I think its going to be one of the movies I can watch over and over and over again. And I think I have fallen in love with Patrick Dempsey's character. Hehehe.

I honestly can't wait to go home. So many people to catch up with and so little time. Babies popping out left, right and center! Adrian and Michelle Chong just gave birth to a baby boy, Ethan. :P

I can't help but realise things have really changed and time has certainly moved very quickly. It has been six years since confirmation. It has been 4 years since college. Its been almost two years since I moved out from Melbourne. Its not really the fact that I'm getting old, but rather how I'm no longer who I was during that time and how people just grow apart as time passes by...

There's definately people I truly miss...

Still a student.

2008-10-25T20:56:00.002+13:00

Its been more than a month since I last blogged. Well, exams are over and its the end of my degree. I got a letter just before the exam period began. I have been offered to do my honors. But unfortunately, I decided to graduate and not do my honors. However, after much thinking, I decided to continue studying but I'll be doing a Post Grad Diploma in Communications instead.

I have always wanted to go on studying to see how far I can go but I wanted to do it in my own terms and not be depending on him. But I guess I don't have the capabilities to do it on my own terms.

So, yea. I'll be graduating in December but I'll continue on to get my P.G Dip. Let's see how far I can go with simple English. *wink*

Mummy will be here in less than 2 months time. Honestly I can't wait. And I can't wait to go home. I miss home... alot.

Life is just beginning. =)

tina happy

2008-09-20T20:08:00.002+12:00

I found Ronald Chin Kim Leong!!
On facebook.

Here's part of the our very first conversation after about 7 years.

7:45pm Ronald : when u come back make sure u call me

7:47pm Christina : dude, i've been asking everyone i know who knows you and been trying to contact you since i was 16.. and now i found you on facebook of all places.. and you think i'm not going to call you???

7:48pm Ronald : ha ha..i miss u too!!!

You got that right Mr.Chin! We have a lot of catching up to do...

-----------------------------------------------------

Anyways, it was a nice spring day so Sab, Jeff, Tien, Gene and I went to uni and cam-whored with the cherry blossoms in front of the Clock Tower. Pictures on my facebook.

and we've been making lotsa yummy stuff... here's a lil list of the stuff we've made so far..
1. ondeh - ondeh (from scratch)
2. char siew pau (from scratch)
3. ice chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate swirls.
4. ceaser's salad (from scratch)
5. pizza (from scratch)
6. Japanese Curry with Teriyaki Salmon.
6. Muffins with colourful icings.

Next project, wan tan mee.. hehehe..
but of course, majority is of it is done by Ms. Sabrina Goh.. (of course!).. hehe.

will update more next time.

ohhhh.. ya.. Tina finally got director role!

300 sheep-shaggers.

2008-09-10T03:58:00.012+12:00

My 300th entry.

I spoke to Tash and I gave Nash a call. I kinda miss them alot...

So, I've done camera, lighting, a lil bit of editing, script writing and set design. This time I've gone to the mother of all production roles... I, Christina Chan, am the director (finally!) for my very last practical assignment in my uni life. hehehe.. ain't it a nice way to cap off my degree? Anyways, I'm totally psych!

I've been watching shit loads of movies to the point I have seen the same relatively unknown B grade actor in two movies in the span of one week, thanks to Video Ezy One Dollar on weeklies deal. Funny, we never rent Dvds back home, and here I am, renting dvds for the passed almost four years of my life.

ANYWAYS, I have watched all four "Bring it On". And you know what? They all begin with the head cheerleader having a bad dream. Here's my lil survey on all the sequeals... on the main male characters of course..

Bring it On 1 (2000) - Yes (Jesse Bradford), in a dorkiest kinda way. That half smile is kinda hard to resist..
and plus.. he's a musician.. lol.

Bring it On Again (2004) - Nope (Richard Lee Jackson), I don't dig him at all.. maybe because he's short.. or maybe its the jaw. I don't know.. not even one my dorky cute list.

Bring it On: All or Nothing - Yes Yes Yes! (Gus Carr).. he is oh-so-cute in this B-grade-direct-to-dvd movie. Crumping and all.. yum.
How could one resist that smile... and he is a dancer. =P

Bring it On: In it to win it - Okay la.. (Michael Copon) .. like I said... okay la..

I have nothing to say about the head cheerleaders. =)

Moving on, I just finish watching Jane Austen's Book Club. Firstly, I love the soundtrack. Secondly, I like the fact that they embrace their lives as screw up as it is. And lastly,the men in the movie (husbands/boyfriends) reading Jane Austen. Honestly, I have never picked up an Jane Austen book before... and the last time I watched any movies based on a Jane Austen book was.. a time I can't even remember. Maybe I should.. start reading something of Austen's.

Oh.. I saw two gay couples at Monkey last weekend. And.. one of them (one of the couples) were full on, making out like there's no tomorrow. Oh course there were the low life sheep-shaggers making fun of them and flipping the bird and all that jazz. But Elaine and I were sooooo tempted to go up to them and say, "you guys are awesome!". I'm rooting for gay pride... even when I'm on the other end of the rainbow. =)

ps. we got the house for next year. fully furnished! and its a proper house! finally!
another p.s. I wonder how a person living thousands of miles away is still able to piss the living hell out of me.

ohh.. a new Malaysian Restaurant finally opened in Dunedin. =)

Forbury Road.

2008-08-29T03:06:00.002+12:00

Flat hunting is a bitch.
We've been going around looking for houses almost the whole day today and half of yesterday, and found nothing. You see, 2009 is going to be our last year in Dunedin and we thought that its about time we get a proper house and not some studio or some student flat. We want something nice and something that feels like home. The nice places are of course on places like Maori Hill and Roslyn or somewhere really far away like Wakari or St.Clair. And the really really nice ones are like 600 to 700 bucks a week!!! Crazy man....

I know its been only two days but the hours gene spent on trademe looking for houses for rent is ridiculous. We're giving it another couple of weeks and see how things go. Haihz...

Something Sab and Tien were talking about that got me thinking, "The closest friends we end up having are the ones from school or college. Workmates rarely become close friends". I've not started working yet so I can't say much. I mean, I do have a casual job that involves booger infested noses and crying babies... I can't imagine going for coffee with a 3 year old to talk about tampons and orgasms. I'm not sure if I can ever go back to being the same with my school friends, I mean I feel so alienated and very distant from them. Yes, I do miss them, alot, especially Nash but I don't think I would be able to go back to how things were... not where I plan to go.

Anyways, we had margaritas for tea today. =) I love the two of them.. hehehehe.

my weekend?

2008-08-26T23:44:00.005+12:00

1. Erika (my lecturer) posted up the production pictures on flicker. Thanks to the 'save image' tab, I have managed to put it up on facebook. I wonder how the end product looks like....

2. Its the holidays. Went to watched "Miss Pettigrew lives for a day" with Tien and Sab this afternoon. It was good.. rather interesting actually. Like how one day can change a person's life forever. That one decision, that one move and that one gesture. But then again, I guess that there's alot of movies like that. But it was nice to see a movie like that in a more light hearted way.

3. Californication is awesome!

peace out.

Twisted

2008-08-21T15:47:00.000+12:00

Twisted
by Keith Sweat

Oh yeah baby
You got to make your mind up
Yeah, Kut Klose, hear me out

1-You know you are my lover
You got me twisted over you
I know I got what you need
So what you wanna do

Baby, baby I know
Baby I love you so
But you don't feel like I do
Tell me what can I do

2-But I gotta be strong
You did me wrong
When I thought that we were really down
So you say you want me
Make up your mind
Cuz I'm not gonna be here for long

(repeat 1)

Baby, baby in time
Baby I know you'll find
That what you needed was here
And think about it my dear
(rpt 2, 1...)

Breaking up down
You got me twisted
Thinking about the way that things use to be
When It was you and me girl I was so free
See you had my life
Like Cupid and I was just down right foolish and stupid
But now I know the reason for the pain and the headaches
You left me all alone now I can't even concentrate
I guess I'll wait for the day until you come back
Because my heart is where your love is at
You got me twisted

Have you ever

2008-08-21T15:43:00.001+12:00

Have You Ever lyrics
Brandy

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for the words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

Go Malaysia?

2008-08-21T12:05:00.006+12:00

Since Project Runway Season 5 in the US is currently showing, I have to wait one whole week for each episode. So I decided (reluctantly of course and there was nothing else better on youtube) to watch Project Runway Australia Season 1. Its more gay than ever! And I love love love! Hehehe.. maybe it the accent. In Blayne's (tan queen of season 5) words, "bitchilious...!" hehehe.

The Judges (Left to Right): Henry Roth, Sara Gale, Kristy Hinze and Brandon Brunsdon

Okay, okay... for the big big big news.
1. IT'S IN FREAKING MELBOURNE! The headquarters is in this building called the White House and I think its opposite the Southern Cross train station.
2. Their version of 'ATLAS' is in Dock-freaking-lands.

and lastly, it biggest news of all!
3. There's a MALAYSIAN guy competing!

Here's the 411 on him...

Born in Malaysia, Lui Hon moved to Melbourne 9 years ago. He completed an Honours Degree at RMIT in Fashion Design then worked in retail before deciding to start his own label. Currently working as a fashion consultant at Assin in Melbourne during the day, at night he works on his label Von with his business partner, which is stocked in a few stores in Melbourne. His ultimate goal is to have an international show. Lui describes himself as honest, friendly and non judgmental with a good sense of humour whilst his worst traits are that he is sensitive and emotional at times. Highly focused, Lui sees fashion as a way to express himself and as a tool for a dialogue. Project Runway would allow Lui to give up his day job and focus on getting his name out there and will use the experience to push himself and his boundaries further.

AND AND AND, he's in the top freaking five!!!!!

-----------------

Gonna make Yaw Char Kuey sometime this week... hehe.

When is the moon festival?

2008-08-20T05:22:00.003+12:00

Do you realize that everything is changing? Facebook interface, the weather, the favourites for the olympics medal telly, even blogspot interface is different. Soon, its going to be our lives... well, definately my life.

I'll be done with uni in less than 3 months.

I have plans. I have plans to work in Wellington in 2010. I have plans to get my indefinate New Zealand PR then moving back to KL. I have plans to have a family with two kids. I have plans to travel the world. I have plans.

But will I be able to execute them?

I was talking to Dee a few days ago about New Zealand and all. It made me realise a few things.
1. I am actually able to give up my life in Malaysia... even at the age of 19 because I had almost nothing.. or so I believed. Then at 20, I wanted to give up Australia because I thought I was missing out on so much back home. At 21, I realised that I have lead my life on a very different path. And now, I'm contented.

2. Planning and execution are two very different things. I plan but I hesitate on the execution part.

3. Life is like basic economics. Sometimes we have to forgo something to try and achieve the perfect balance with the highest profit possible.

---

National Free View television suck. They're way to bias towards their own country. I want satellite tv that shows everything on the olympics.
I want to go for the next Olympics and its in London.
Trip to London in 2012?

Blue skies and sunshine

2008-08-07T12:56:00.002+12:00

It's been awhile since I blogged. I don't know if I'm losing the will to blog or maybe I'm getting older. I can't decide which. I think before I make any decision on that, I shall just continue blogging. May it be one entry per month... it is still an entry anyways.

ISC is almost done for 2008. Rendezvous 2008, Fahrenheit 2008 and International Month 2008 (International Food Fest, International Cultural Night 2008 and International Charity Gala 2008).
The last one to go; ski trip at Queenstown in a few weeks. I wish things were a lil different...

Things around here have been a major roller coaster. It's funny to say something like about tiny Dunedin. I think people here are so bored they seek some sort of drama and "excitement" to fill up their days. I may have become one of them. Because of the quiet-ness of Dunedin, thinking is a major problem. It forces you to think about your life and it makes you make decisions that scare the shit out of you but because Dunedin is so small, you kinda have the gun to your head to execute your decisions. The scary part of it all is the risk and consequences of the decision.

I don't know if I should listen to my guts. I think I've been in the clouds for a lil too long that reality has become a lil too scary for me. No one to help me ease into it... At age 22, I've never felt so alone in a crowded room. A new mark in my life.

Peace.

Winter in Dunedin

2008-07-06T18:16:00.002+12:00

Last Friday night, Janice, Sahel, Darren, Gene and I played snow outside and then decided we needed more snow. So we piled up into the car and went up to Roslyn. Sahel got his boogy board. There we went walking in the snow to CC's place and he was a grumpy because we disturbed his conversation with Luan.

We continued playing with snow.
It was a good night. =)

Keith Martin - Because of you

2008-07-06T18:13:00.001+12:00

Look, why don't you play that song you played for me yesterday?
Oh ok yeah, that song because of you, cool
This is a song called because of you...written because of you...here we go

...oh yah, oh yah...
If ever you wondered if you touched my soul yes you do
Since I met you I'm not the same
You bring life to everything I do
Just the way you say hello
With one touch I can't let go
Never thought I'd fall in love with you...

Because of you, my life has changed, thank you for the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame, I'll tell the world it's because of you

Sometimes I get lonely and all I gotta do is think of you
You captured something inside of me
You make all of my dreams come true
It's not enough that you love me for me
You reached inside and touched me eternally
I love you best explains how I feel for you...

Because of you, my life has changed, thank you for the love and the joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame, I'll tell the world it's because of you

The magic in your eyes
True love I can't deny
When you hold me I just lose control
I want you to know that I'm never letting go
You mean so much to me I want the world to see,
It's because of you

Because of you, my life has changed, thank you for the love and the joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame, I'll tell the world it's because of you
My life has changed thank you for the love and the joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame, I'll tell the world it's because of you...

Because of you

------------

Just because.... *smiles*

International month

2008-07-02T21:37:00.002+12:00

Last weekend was the long awaited girls' weekend. Elaine and I packed our bags and stayed over at Janice's from Friday night to Sunday evening. We chilled, talked, raided Janice's wardrobe, gossiped, played cards and drank at home and on Saturday night we drank, dressed up and went to Monkey Bar and partied all night long! At the end of the night, we got stranded at the bottom of Cargill Street because it started raining damn heavily. We're damn sad tho... we only finished half a Jager in two nights between 3 girls. Sahel came home (from Auckland) and laughed his ass off... But all in all, we had a really good night.. =)

Uni starting next week...
Its gonna really start to get busy with International month starting today... gonna be busy.. well not as busy as Darren la.. but.. busy enough. =)

2 July OUSA Booth @ International Expo Student International Services

10 July ReOrientation International Food Festival OUSA Events

11 July International Movie Marathon OUSA International Students' Council

15 July International Cultural Night OUSA International Students' Council

17 July International Dinner Dunedin Overseas Christian Fellowship

19 July International Students Forum OUSA International Rep. & Womens' Rep.

19 July `Indulge Yourself' Cocktail Party Sri Lankan Students' Association

21 July International Exhibition & Monday Night Market OUSA International Students' Council

24 July Public discussion on International Education International Socialists' Organisation

25 July Talent Night Afrotago - African Students' Association

27 July National Healthcare Group Singapore - Recruitment Drive

2 August Charity Gala Dinner OUSA International Students' Council

--------------------------------------------------

Anime time!

ps. Janice did the naughty naughty and plurge at Kathmandu and Brendon's today. Hehehe.

Whats left of a person?

2008-06-25T17:19:00.002+12:00

1. Personality based on others.
2. Fucked up rules/principles to live by.

How in hell do you ever manage to live you life for these passed 20 years?

My holidays so far

2008-06-21T19:56:00.003+12:00

Mid winter is here
and my toes are damn cold.

Wednesday night, drink.
Thursday night, drink.
Friday night, drink.
Saturday night, drink.
Sunday night, pictionary? =)

Monday work...
Tuesday work...
Wednesday work...
Thursday work...
Friday night, sleep overs!

Last night,
elaine, janice, darren and cc slept over.
Gene and Praveen stayed up all night and went to farmers market for green man beer at 8am and had euro dogs for breakfast and came home at 1pm with sahel.
I love these people.. =)

cam-whore down George

2008-06-18T15:02:00.009+12:00

It's official.
I suck at photoshop.

So I was over at Lainie's place and we were working on Janice's pressie and we were going thru pictures! hehe...

And I got hold of some of the pictures from our girls night at Carousal... and after that we headed to Monkey Bar for awhile and continued at K-world until 6.30 am and walked from Princes St to Capers for yummy breakfast while cam-whoring all the way. Unfortunately, I don't have the pictures with me right now... But here are some of it.

Elaine and I (and cocktails) at Carousal

Elaine, Janice, Marie and I
It took us more than 5 shots just to get this picture right.

The walk to Monkey Bar
Janice and I cam-whoring hence the stupid kawai-i pose
We have mastered the kawai-i pose from 1 finger to all our 10 fingers
The walk back to George St. and heading to Capers for breakfast

Ooooo... Elaine and I are going to try to bake coffee cake tomorrow...

Happy Birthday Doug and new mummy, Deirdre!

The Ugly Wallpaper

2008-06-15T17:04:00.002+12:00

I'm looking for an answer only I can give. But I can't come up with anything. As thg days wears on, I'm getting more and more anxious as I don't know what to do with my life. I never had any time off to ponder. I never stopped even once since I got out of high school. But I guess thats no excuse. I envy those who have an answer...

The holidays have begun for me.
Everyone is going somewhere...

Marie is heading to Auckland for 3 weeks.
Elaine will be heading to Wellington and Auckland on the 2nd to the 8th of July.
Rohit and Pradeep are heading back to Auckland.
Bao is also going to Auckland.

I should be working during that time anyways. Hopefully I would have enough money to travel around at the end of the year.

"A reflection of the past haunts those to never surfaced from the ugly wallpaper in the first place"

how?

2008-06-12T01:35:00.003+12:00

I am shit scared of what lies ahead.
I don't know where to go or what to do.
I know that I need to get myself a stable job, but where? Dunedin? Wellington?
Part of me wants to go back to KL because its easier.
But another part of me wants to live my life somewhere else..

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do....

its windy today.

2008-06-09T14:37:00.003+12:00

*Talked to Martin last night and now Tracy makes me miss Melbourne so much.

*Very windy today and last night. Gene went for this second paper.. and i'll be heading to uni to start running from the tower building to richardson building.. haihz. Better dress warm and comfy...

*Sex and the city movie was sooo good. Go watch it! I could watch it over and over again~! Dun want to say anything more until you've watched it.

*I NEED TO GET UPDATED WITH UGLY BETTY AND GREY'S ANATOMY!! I'm watching weeds now... and i want to watch private practice. And I can't wait for the new seasons of ANTM and project runway.

*I'm getting to know my mom's side of the family through Facebook! lol

Let it snow~

2008-06-08T00:02:00.003+12:00

I finally finished my exam for semester one of 2008!!
Yay!!
And you know what?? On the way home, it was freaking cold and it was raining... and THEN.. it started snowing!!! But only for like 5 minutes... when it touched the ground it turned to water.
AND THEN, it started snowing again like 15minutes ago! For like a good five-ten minutes.. but again its not cold enough to cover the streets white.

Its a good present tho.. hehehe...
Seeing snow in Korea is not as good as watching snow fall.. its just sooo pretty..
Apparently, Dunedin will be white in a few weeks or so... I can't wait!

Happy Birthday Layka!!

2008-06-05T00:17:00.004+12:00

One paper down and one more to go.
I have already passed my other paper so the stress level isn't that high. But I do want to score for this coming paper. As of 4.30 on the 7th of June, I'm a free woman!

ANYWAYS,

stuff(s): mariegrace has been launched at thedresshop. She has become one of those online designers. I think she's the only one I know under the age of 25 who knows how to use a sewing mechine. lol. Anyways, go check it out!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, this entry is dedicated to Layka. =)

It all began in 1 cempaka when we first met. We became friends from the get go by not really liking on the girls (who turned out to be really nice and we eventually became close friends at the time). We were in different classes after awhile but still remained good friends. The time she moved to SP was the time our friendship was tested. I remember she called me when we go our UPSR results. =)
I moved away in form2 when she got her ass back to Kepong. And we still remained friends...
And now, after 3.5 years abroad, she is still my closest and bestest friend.
We finish each other's sentences, we have similar taste, we bitch about the same people and we listen to each other. We did talk about being lesbians when all fails and she would be my first... lol.There's also the down part But of course the story of our friendship has been summarised =)...

Girl, once again, I'm not there on your birthday.
I hope that one day, I will be there as you were always at mine.
Happy Birthday Hotness!!!
and I love you lots.
muakzmuakz.

--------------------------------------------

girlfriend has a girlfriend

2008-06-03T15:43:00.002+12:00

OMG!!!

I just found out that 'girlfriend' has a girlfriend. NOT just ANY girl... A GIRL WE ALL KNOW!!!!!
and i just found out from Layka and Kev.

OMG!!!

I was sleeping when gene started laughing. I asked why and he said that 'girlfriend' has a girlfriend. I woke up!!! and asked WHO!? Layka doesn't really know her but after a few discription I was like WHAT? WHEN? HOW? unfortunately kev was drunk and Layka didn't have a clue...

OMG!!!

I need to talk to girlfriend. I know he would think i'm over-reacting... but but but... its 'girlfriend'.. of course la I kan cheong!

OMG!!!

Do I have to?

2008-05-31T03:37:00.002+12:00

Studying for a paper you do not like one bit and you refer it as COMS-fucking-301 is a good indication you might not do well. and you would have the attention span of a 3 year old when you have to get down and start studying. not good I tell you.

Haihz. It doesn't help that I'm hungry. fuck nuts.

Wandering into Edwan's blog was a bad bad bad idea. Him and his burger ikut perasaan. ish! it doesn't help that it looks damn good!

Mummy got facebook! lol. Yet another nonis family in. too bad auntie sharon and Gigi are not exactly internet savy.

I think I'll be heading to the 2-4 now.. and get me some hound dog with extra bbq sauce.. or maybe i should hold the sauce..
I want maggi mee goreng!

Alice is no longer in wonder-freaking-land

2008-05-30T02:49:00.004+12:00

I woke up at 10.30...
rushed off to uni to be there at 11.30 for course approval.
I didn't have my id with me so I had my lunch
then walked to London St to get my stuff
then walked back to uni
got my course approval form
went to see erika
erika found a problem with my points
went to see the info desk
info desk informs me that i have to see student records after 3
met up with gene
went to the library
watched Drowned Out (for exams)
went to student records
they gave me some paper work and sent me off to humanities advisor
met that asshole
gave me no options but to take an extra paper
almost cried in front of asshole
walked back to the library
gene not in the av room
went to the study room
elaine, marie and darren was there
pour my heart out to them
they told me to talk to my lecturer
if all else fail
talk to student support
after all that drama
studied for awhile
came home and ate
Sab made wah tai hor
watch some random english series
played some texas hold em
watched 'gone baby gone'
and now here I am.

There's too much to write about the whole points ordeal... too stressful. So I'm not going to write about the whole story.

So, 'Gone Baby Gone' is a good movie. It's mainly about the grey area of truth and what is right and wrong. Truth and right/wrong is no longer black and white. There's the many shades of grey. Of course in an idealistic world we want the black and white but the truth and right/wrong (may be in the grey area) doesn't exist, the problem is we don't live in an idealistic world. This world is fucked up! No matter how much we want to paint the pretty picture... its just not going to happen.

But then again, there's no stopping you from admiring the beauty in the ugly...
Here's what I see, Life is like shallow hal. The beautiful become ugly and the ugly become beautiful.
The idea of beauty of life is in the eyes of the beholder.
The idea of truth is in the eyes of the beholder.
The idea of what is right and wrong is also in the eyes of the beholder.

Peckish at 12.40am

2008-05-28T00:36:00.002+12:00

Gene is sick. With all the ladidas. And I think I am too... Damnnit.. not a good time to fall sick with the exams looming around the corner.

I'm feeling peckish.. should I walk down to the 2-4? Lazy la.. but there's no peckish food at home.. Haihz... Wait a minute... there's goober!!! peanut and jelly goodness...

Tata..
Oooo.. and Congratulations Ah neh! *wink*

The city girl in a small town.

2008-05-27T03:10:00.002+12:00

I just realised how long I have not kept in touch with the whole blogging world. I just realised how dependent I am on the internet. The very fact that the first thing I do every morning while I was in Melbourne was start up my laptop, brush my teeth, get my breakfast and plant my ass in front of my screen. I love that routine. I miss it. I don't do that anymore...

I have somehow let my outside world slip before my very eyes. What happened? Has Dunedin grown on me? I mean, this is one small town with the major population being students who disappear every summer and sometimes winter. Have I been 'kampung-nised'? Fuck nuts!

I no longer rush to get ready to get down and party anymore. I mean, last Friday was the first time I had fun dancing my ass off since... last year? And I finally had that kind of fun almost a whole year later.

Today, I finally tried to catch up on blogs I religious read. And I missed out so much! Now its uni, home, new world (supermarket), London St., South Dunedin (work) and George St. That's freaking it! omg!!!

I think this is the first time I'm going to hyperventilate in a long long long time!
I miss tracy! I miss ashley! I miss Pei Lin! I miss Cherly! I miss Nic! I miss treshan! Holy crap! I miss Melbie....
I really really really hope I'll be able to go to Melbie at the end of the year. Cross fingers!

On a totally different note, I think I found Ronald Chin Kim Leong on facebook. I know Astrid, you said not to look for him and all... but curiousity got the best of me. I just want to know what happened to him. Thats all...

I think I better go...
Will definately try to blog more...

Work and no play?

2008-05-26T01:21:00.003+12:00

Okay. Last assignment of the semester is down. Next, two papers to go... one on the 4th and the other on the 7th. Then its work work work... everyday! I want to go on that ski trip!!!

Yesterday, I finally spoke to Adrian. After God knows how long. The accent is definately there. He's now definately one of them Kumars at No.42 types.. hehe.
And a few days ago, I found Justin on facebook. I haven't seen him for almost 4 years. I can't believe it has been that long. Hope I can catch up with him when I get back at the end of the year.

Its definately colder now.

Luan is leaving this weekend.

New photos up on facebook. I need a smoke. Hiahz...

just the girls.

2008-05-15T04:30:00.007+12:00

I just finish watching the very last episode of the very last season of Sex and the City. What can I say? I'll always remain true to Carrie Bradshaw, Charlotte York, Miranda Hobbs and Samantha Jones. I never crossed over to the dark side... aka. Desparate Housewives. I guess they're not as fashionable in Manolo Blahniks and Prada. And there's no fabulously gay Stanford.

I abso-fucking-lutely love love love Carrie's dress in the scene where she sees Big before she leaves to Paris. That dress!!! omg! I love love love that dress!!

Okay.. that last few episodes got me thinking about my girls. I had my girls in primary school and then I moved and we grew up. Then I had my girls in high school... we had ALL the girly stuff.. I wonder where the foursome book is. There's so much shit in there... I would do anything to just flip thru those pages one more time.. Well.. we grew up.

And I moved away. Physically and mentally...

Then Melbourne came.. again, I had my girls... but now that I'm in Dunedin.. we've grow apart.. I hope its not that far apart.

And now in Dunedin... I got my girls.. I really hope.. in some alternate universe, I would have them forever... But.. we'll see... =) We might all end up in the North Island.. One might be in Rotorua, Maybe 2 in Wellington.. and One definately in Auckland. =)

But in the end of it all... one thing remains.. memories.. good and bad..
Oooo.. and one girl that has stayed thru it all... my best friend. Layka. =)

Mahligai

2008-05-07T18:39:00.003+12:00

"Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

...........

This is to feelings I used to feel and no longer do. The only thing that remains is nostalgia. The kind that allows me to just sit down and smile and be grateful. The one thing that I try to hold on to is that happiness I felt when I was literally jumping off the stairs of Sunway College that one day. I hope that one day, we'll have another Friday night at Mahligai. =)

In the back seat

2008-05-05T00:50:00.002+12:00

It hailed on/off on Friday. It didn't snow.

Things for the party is going good. Nothing has gone out of control yet. Nothing that I know of.

Gene is talking to Adrian on the phone now. I miss that fella. Lil bit of British slang every now and then. Haven't seen him in 3 years... I don't like the Northern Hemisphere. Haven't seen Nash for that long too.

Assignment going along good. Hopefully I'll be done asap. Its due on the 8th of May. Our two year anniversary together... =) That's why I want it done before that.

You know what, I don't miss KL geographically speaking. I miss the people. I miss the certain few people who I wish I can pack in my bags and bring them over here. I'm actually contemplating on migrating here for real...

I'm leaving this post with that thought...

Mr.Big

2008-05-02T04:39:00.005+12:00

"You give up your dream, you die."
Nick Hurley in Flashdance.

I didn't realise how many Christian Dior Saddle bags Carrie was using in Season 3 of Sex and the City. It made me jealous.

Funny how each episode of Sex and the City still make me think about certain things. I realised that how or what I think about each episode when I was in high school has changed. A few years and a couple of relationships do change your mind. I wonder who's my Mr.Big and who's my Aidan and who's my Smith and who's my Steve.

To think with your heart or to think with your mind. That's a question not even Aristotle or Plato could answer. I remember when I first started blogging, there was this one guy who read what a 15 year old had to say about the world. I don't remember his username anymore. I would like to think that he's this older guy (maybe 10 years older) who is into drugs and philosophers. You know, the neurotic kind. In his words, he always gave me his "two cents". After awhile, he stopped reading my blog and he stop updating his. And that was the end of it.

He made the 15 year old me important and always made me feel good but never in the pink bunny way. But with cold hard truth and a lil cushion for the thud. Everytime I got his comment, I can't wait for what he has to say. I wonder what happened to him.
To my internet stranger, thank you.

Goodnight.

ps. it might snow today.

chilling

2008-04-30T00:15:00.002+12:00

Still alive. but busy.

Fahrenheit 08' in less than 2 weeks. Assignment due in a week.
Weather changing.. one day its 15 degrees and the next day its 4 degrees. Very confusing. Winter hitting soon. Trees are orange and red and yellow. Dried leaves on the ground.
Missing home. Haven't even called mummy yet and its been like more than a month now.
dreading the end of the year. I don't know how to deal with my parents.
Claire might not even come to New Zealand at all! Thanks to my idiotic father. Argh!

Missing my siblings and my mommy. and kevin and fabian and layka.

Hiahz.
Back to work..

shorties

2008-04-01T16:09:00.002+13:00

Went to Queenstown on Sunday. Will try to put up some pictures. If not, it will be on Facebook.

I'm hungry now. Very hungry and waiting for gene. I need food!

Made nasi lemak yesterday. I have to say, that's the best sambal I ever made. =)

Sab making southern friend chicken tonight. YAY! and we're gonna play some badminton.

Cocktail party tickets are on sale. So far, things are going good.

I need a job. I need my visa and my IRD number so I can actually start work! Damnnit.

A cry for help

2008-03-13T03:02:00.002+13:00

Fuck!
I love this template.. But i lost all my other links!!!
and I can't seem to add a link list on my sidebar. I can't seem to add anything!!!!
The only thing that popped up and can't seem edit it at all!
can someone help me??

Here's the link for this template.
http://www.finalsense.com/services/blog_templates/jester_template.htm

The rise of internet

2008-03-11T12:16:00.002+13:00

The internet can be a more harmful medium compared to television and radio. Internet can become very personal and very global at the same time. The past and the present some what envelopes and binds itself; most of the time, creating a very unstable substance of its own. I don't know if you understand what I mean. I guess the best way to describe it is through the theory of uses and gratification. I think this is what I will be doing for my assignment. The uses and gratification in cyberspace. Makes sense right? Too bad I can't write without quoting someone.

I forgot my handphone again. Its charging on the chest of drawers cum dresser. I'm half way through the second last episode of FRIENDS, had to stop because I had a tute.. It is very very sad. I think I'm gonna watch season one again. Rachel in a wedding dress and joey with bad 90s hair.

I got another 4 hours of classes to go. Hiahz.

Ferret the trouble maker.

2008-03-10T14:13:00.004+13:00

**It's gonna be busy in the next few months. The international cocktail party in coming up, then we have the international dance party in May. So, my cup of tea. =)
The cocktail is gonna be at uni.. a luau cocktail.. hehe.. It's gonna be fun!
The dance party has not been finalised yet. You know, themes and all that jazz.

**Got an assignment due in 2 weeks. I have no idea what I'm going to write about.

**Watching the ending of FRIENDS and not liking it.. because.. well.. its the last few episodes of season ten. Yes, I know I'm back-dated but... its so sad.

**Had Bluff Oysters and Radler Bier at Craft and had yummy cocktail and cheese at Carousal (sp?) yesterday and topped it of with Cheeb's Porterhouse Steak and mash. The day begun at 4pm and ended at 12pm. It was a good day.

**Oh.. and did I mention I'm gonna be bride's maid next year.. =)
**I miss Kevin, Layka and Fabian loads. loads. loads. loads.

**It's gonna be an interesting year.

Just filling in

2008-03-04T12:20:00.004+13:00

I have a huge urge to skip my first class for this semester. But it makes no sense as I'm only doing two papers. But then again, I do have the lecture from hell.
... I think I'll skip...

Anyways, Gene has like the coolest assignment. Make a blog and make blog entries every week. And viola! You get freaking marks for it! I could have ace that paper... hehehe...

Really getting into uni life again. Thanks to Darren. Lainie and I are gonna plan a cocktail thingy in April. Fingers cross.

Looking for a job.. Might get back some replies soon. Fingers cross again.

Feeling sleepy. Don't think I got any good sleep last night. Haihz....

Back to sheeps and cheese

2008-02-21T16:08:00.002+13:00

Back in Dunedin.
Marie is such a sweetheart. She left us some goodies. =) IN ORANGE! hehehe...

We out with Rohit, Bao, CC, Sahel and Janice.. to Monkey Bar. Hmm... first years... annoying. It was like a fuck feast waiting to happen. Anyways, Janice cracked me up big time when she went pass her red stage.

Nothing much has been happening except for running around uni, getting stuff done. I'm officially a finalist. That means, I'll be graduating soon without any problems. That's a huge relieve man. Now, I'm waiting for gene to get the car and etc etc.

I'm soooooo hungry! I NEED FOOD!
I'm kinda lethargic too... hope it doesn't last that long.
I miss Kev, Fabz and Layka adey!
BIG TIME.

Surviving the holidays

2008-02-12T06:43:00.001+13:00

I know I've not blogged in the longest time... I guess there's just one too many dramas that has been happening since I got back. I'm honestly relieved that I'm leaving soon... *sighs*... Never thought I would actually say that. Just when I thought that the drama was over, I checked my email account and my dad emailed me. Yet another drama, this time; my brother.

Just a lil summary of my very "dramatic" life.

A few weeks ago, I packed my bags and walked out of the house. Reason: my sister is going out with a cunning asshole. I felt uncomfortable with his constant presence in the house, I voiced it out, my mom and I fought. Mind you, that was the first time we fought since I was 15. I stayed at Baby's place for 2 weeks. His family was really kind and generous with me. My mom finally saw the light and I came home. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister to bits and pieces but not her idiotic boyfriend. He the type of person with some really bad aura. Honestly, I can go on for days about what an idiot of a 23 year old he is but I think I've contaminated my blog enough already.

I think I shall cover the events according to celebrations for now...

Eugene's 21st: Issues with my father.
Christmas: Maternal grandparents and family issue.
2 weeks before Claire's birthday: Idiot boyfriend issue... (as mentioned above)
Chinese New Year: Separated paternal grandparents issue.

And now, the list of everyday issues;
1. Money
2. Brother
3. Father

I've just been with a small group of people. The people I love most. Don't know what I would do without them. They've kept my sanity during this holiday. =)

Leaving this Sunday. Back to the land of sheeps.
I can't wait.

21st and Grim Ripper

2007-12-12T23:51:00.000+13:00

Gerard's 21st was interesting and funny; and it was awesome to see Jon Sam after three years. He looks the same.. a lil buff but that's about it. It was nice to be with them after so long... =) After that, Claire, Kev and I headed to some mamak near Kev's place. And talk and talk till five. Next morning (about 12 something), I was up and out, getting stuff for gene's thing almost the whole day. Was finally done and came home about ten. I couldn't move after I planted my ass on the chair. Next thing I know, I was dozing off.

Was suppose to meet up with the Ausmat people.. but was waaaaayyy too tired to go ANYWHERE after the lil expedition to Petaling Street. All walks of life are REALLY there. There were moments when I found it so hard to breathe. The smell, the fumes, the rubbish... KL is such a horrible place. Or rather, Petaling Street is such a horrible place. However, I can't deny... Xmas stuff there are so cheap!

Going over again to Gene's tonight to get some more stuff done. Just came back from Xmas shopping and my feet hurts... but got new shoes!!! =P So thats good.

Having poured out my soul to Claire, Kev and Jason. I feel so much more relieved. But I don't think there would be able to ever make me forget. You know that funny feeling, like a sharp object is piercing heart... it doesn't seem to go away. At all. And thats pretty fucked up. Unfortunately, there's nothing anyone can do about it. There's obviously a mixture of disbelief... I still can't wrap my head around it.

Femme Fatale

2007-12-08T04:09:00.000+13:00

Sometimes, it feels like someone else is living my life. The life that was suppose to be put on hold has now being played by someone else. What was mine once upon a time has taken on a new master. And I have come home to nothing. Things I thought I had now cease to exist.

Funny thing is, I have been warned and I did not heed its call. Like normal human beings trying to find my footing, I did not listen. Now, I'm flabbagasted (sp?) by its presence. Words pouring out in my head but when the time to speak comes before me; words are lost amongst the facade of femme fatale.

Two headed masters are out to play. Yet, I'm still trying to comprehand situations in history books. I'm not ready.

But who cares right?

doves and bells; external entities and governments

2007-12-07T19:25:00.000+13:00

I'm caught in the middle of things ain't a good thing when you know that its your last summer holidays for the REST of your life (maybe until retirement... and its not like that's gonna happen in the next year). Being in the middle where you've really ARE in the middle of your life (adulthood vs. bumming students trying to hold on to my youth without any responsibility) really sucks. Not only you have to battle with yourself, you also have to battle with exterior 'beings'.

I know that this time next year, I'll be preparing to put on that robe. The robe that's suppose to close yet another chapter of my life. Does that mean I really have to close it shut? Because if I really close that chapter shut, would that mean I have to severe everything that comes with it? Do I get to choose, I mean really choose without the influence of external entities?

Who am I kidding? My life is governed by external entities.
I wonder if my 'government' will continue to govern my life even after I've put on that robe...

It doesn't help when my government themselves are governed by another government.

"You know, you must set up a committee to deal with the problem. And also you need to set up another committee to look after the committee that has to deal with the problem."

Oh fuck them all! It's my fucking holidays. Anyone ruins it... all hell is gonna break loose!
----------------------------------------------------

On a much much lighter note... (actually, its more like... it makes you wanna cry in joy)

I HEAR WEDDING BELLS!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS DYAN AND ROD!!!
HUGZZ HUGZZZ!!!!!
I'm sooo happy for you guys.
So romantic you know!!!
A romantic holiday for two turned into a
Proposal in Cherating.
Yay for you guys!

One hug too soon

2007-12-05T16:53:00.001+13:00

Okay.. so I've been back for less than a month now and drama has already begun. Who was I kidding... I thought that maybe it would not poke its ugly head out for at least a month, but it did. For me at least.

I don't know why but I feel awkward around people I thought I knew. Sometimes it feels like, its just for the sake of it. I mean, if you really feel like you're just doing it for the sake of doing it, just don't bother. Because for some 'odd' reason, it hurts more. So, just stop it.

Funny how life just moves on, sometimes with you knowing and sometimes, you won't realise it until it has already happened. I guess there really is a time for everything.

Darrelaine will be back soon.. wooottt-wwooottt.

December is a busy busy month for me.
This week itself, I'm booked.

Today, movie with the bf and his sis and his niece and nephew and my sis.
Tonight, KL, its the izzat's birthday. =)
Tomorrow, rest up.
Saturday, shopping with the Dyanna.
Sunday, shopping with the Bank of China.
Monday, dinner with dee and astrid.
Only Friday free... hmmm...........

Home

2007-11-21T18:16:00.000+13:00

I'm finally home.

Here's what I've been doing.
1. Visited grandaunties.
2. Visited paternal grandmother.
3. Visited paternal grandfather.
4. Nanny is here in KL.
5. Visited granduncle's grave ( I was in NZ when he passed away about 2 months ago) and visited great grandparent's grave (maternal side).
6. Spending time with mom.
7. Going to Izzat's shisha place.
8. Spend a lil time with Gene's parents.

Yea.. well.. thats my one week so far.

Here's the people I saw so far;
Kevin, Fabian, Aaron, Scott, Layka, Thivya, Dai Wai, Teen Shek, Izzat, Jap, Firman, Arsalan, Omar, Daniel, Manraj, Prabha... I think that's about it. That also not to say really chill out with them long enough.

To the ones I've not met up with yet, I do apologise. I will soon do so. Will give you guys a text because I change my number adey. =)

Till then..

big big words.

2007-10-27T23:10:00.000+13:00

Two papers down. and two more to go.
My life is the library, dinners after 11pm. My mind is so saturated with qualitative and quantitative research methods. Even after I've poured everything out in that 3 hours, I still remember what is Ontological, Epistemological, Axiology, Methodological and Rhetorical assumptions are. Yes, VERY big words.. biggest words ever written in my blog. Damnnit.

Have you ever been for a 30% of your final grade exam with 4 essays (two 35% and two 15% essays) for 3 hours? How fucked up. Even in Latrobe, my 20% exam was one and half hours with a short answer exam.. and I mean SHORT ANSWERS! fucked up man.

Next papers.. visual culture and film and media.
I was over-joyed when I checked my blackboard and found the list of questions!

I'll be home soon.. 17days. woottt wooottt!

ps. i lurve my girls.

Sudden death

2007-10-24T18:12:00.001+13:00

I know that its been months but I think I'm still adjusting. I think the reason why I'm still adjusting in some ways is because there are things I can't let go. I realised that there are certains things I do unconciously, like avoiding blogs (even my own) and avoiding friendster. I don't find the urgency to go online much. I don't find the urgency to blog much. I don't find the urgency to read other people's blogs. I think I'm trying to avoid the fact that I'm no longer part of things that I'm used to be part of.

Am I making any sense? Maybe its just me. The sudden depression is not helping. And it all started out with being unable to pay for kitkats and V at the campus shop.

Maybe its the rain. Maybe its the fact that the library has become my second home. Maybe its the fact that I'm going home to chaos. Or maybe, I'm no longer "intach" with everyone I know anymore. I don't know what it is. But its almost killing my insides and there's nothing I can do about it.

At times like this, I wish the world would eat me up.

Sorry, Tracy... Sorry its only 3 days.

--------------------

Coms302 on the 26th of Oct.
Visc101 on the 6th of Nov.
Fime303 on the 6th of Nov.

Lunatic for a sister

2007-10-18T05:44:00.000+13:00

Good morning Dunedin!

I have only slept less than eight hours in 2 days. I'm tired as hell but I can't sleep. I can't get the things mummy have been telling me out of my mind. I don't know what to do when I get back. I don't know what to say to mummy to console her.

I don't know how things got this bad. I somewhat feel responsible for the things that have been going on. But at the same time, how would I have known that things are going to turn out the way it did? If I did, I would have definately stopped it. But it has been going on for awhile now and I don't know how to go around it.

It's definately something I have to face. and I have to also make a decision I wished I never had to make. I don't even know what my decision is at this moment in time. I hope things will be changing for the better in the next month or so...

reporting for duty.

2007-10-15T01:00:00.000+13:00

I have a few things to report.

First and fore most... Selamat Hari Raya people! I had my first lontong in months today. I'm a happy camper. Marie, Elaine and I were just looking at kids in mini tudungs and mini songkoks with a thick kiwi accents. So damn cute I tell you!

Okay.. here's my report.

1. My auntie (mom's sis) has a facebook account. I was shocked beyond believe when she asked for my approval. Then my cousin (who I have not seen in like 7 years) added me on too. She's so grown up! I feel like a kid next to that 16-year-old. Auntie Sonia, Monessa and Thomas are apparently coming down to Singapore for Christmas. I wonder if thats really gonna happen. They said that they're going to Singapore for Christmas for quite some time now and nanny/grandpa have been disappointed. I hope they're not raising their hopes too high this time around.

2. I got an A+ for an assignment for my visual culture paper. wooottt wooottt! My first A in an assignment after 2.5 years in uni. So excuse my enthusiasm.

3. I'm freaking out. My first paper is on Wednesday! My very first exam in 2.5 years. An exam that would actually make a difference in my grades. That's damn scary for someone who has been depending on their assignments (fully internal) for their grades.

4. Dee got married. Second friend to get married. Kinda scary. I'm entering the age where my friends are getting married and soon, they're all gonna have babies. omg!

5. I'll be home soon! yay! In about a month, I'll be lazing on mummy's sofa and flipping through Astro watching MTV. Yeah! Baby! Sab will be around for Gene's birthday and for Christmas. And Adrian will be back in KL. so yay! gene will be having a good 21st this year.

6. Will be going to Singapore for Christmas. Getting very used to Christmas in KL but it would be really nice to have Christmas in Singapore again after so many years. I honestly miss those Christmases.... Looking at the Christmas stuff at KMart today really put me in a Christmas mood. =)

Anyways, wish me luck!

Loyola Hall

2007-10-10T01:49:00.000+13:00

Yesterday while studying on Marie's super comfy sofa, we decided to just listen to music. And then this song came up in her playlist. The first thought that came to mind was when we all just took each other's hand and we just held each other's hand super tight. When I think about it now, I wonder what happened to those days.

I honestly miss them. We were constantly there for each other. We knew what was going on in each other's lives. Now, we're just glad to know that everyone is still alive. And I guess I'm lucky enough to still be close to those few.

I'm sorry for not keeping in touch as much... I really am sorry.

This song goes out to those who still remember the significance of this song. I love you guys.. I really do.

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand

For you to hold

You can find love

If you search within yourself

And the emptiness you felt

Will disappear

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow

But don't let anyone

Tear them away

Hold on

There will be tomorrow

In time

You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you
-----------------------------

I've got an assignment due this Friday and my exams starts next week. By the end of it all, I'll be home in no time!

Roti Goreng anyone? =)

Day Light Savings has begun..

2007-09-30T17:44:00.000+13:00

And so, day lights savings begun yesterday..

We were at Copa's sipping on cosmopolitans and yummy cocktail concoctions with passionfruit, boysenberry and lime. One minute it was 1.59am the next minute it was 3am.

Fuck! There goes that one hour. Do you know how much we can do in that one hour?
The amount of chit-chats, the amount of sleep and the amount of time needed to complete that fucked up bibliography which cost bloody five easy marks which seems so stupid to not do.. and not forgetting our paper will end up on the deans desk for plagirism. oh fuckity shit.

Anyways, I am Daisy Chan, Elaine is Morning Glory Koh, Marie is Hibiscus Hng and Janice is Pinkalily Lim. Yes, this is what you get when sipping on some tea at 5pm in the evening with nothing to do.

Anyways, assignments again. fuck. library... again.

happy mooncake festival and happy fasting to my dear muslim friends.

Pictures.

2007-09-11T16:35:00.000+12:00

At KC's.. with Gene holding a fishbowl.
(Elaine, Marie, Janice and me)

The Girls at Praveen's shack.
(Nicole, Marie, Me, Janice and Elaine)

The Boys at Praveen's Shack celebrating Darren and Sahel's 22nd.

The girls at Monkey Bar..

Quick Fucks all around!

You never own us.

2007-09-11T16:09:00.000+12:00

Funny how you think you own us after all these years.
I don't remember you being there for us much except maybe financially.
You want us to go back to a house you call a home by blackmailing us.
You say we treat that house like a hotel when you've been doing the same thing since as far as I can remember.
You call us liars and gold diggers when you're are the liar and you married a gold digger.

You don't even know us and yet you think you own us.
You make us feel unwanted and yet you call us your children.
You pushed us aside and turn around and say we're ungrateful.
You put an invisible standard and don't stick around long enough to see us succeed.
You only come around when we fail and when we fall you stand there and punish us instead of teaching us.

You think you own us by giving us money.
You claim you gave us everything we ever wanted but we hardly got anything.
You stopped taking us out, you stop talking to us, you stop being a father to us and you expect us to continue being you children?
You stopped when you lied to us.
You stopped being a father when you had another child with another woman.
We've seen you with your new family and I don't remember you being that way with us.

You think you own us... but you never did.

yesterday and today

2007-09-07T13:51:00.000+12:00

Darren's actual birthday yesterday and he treated us to dinner at Golden Harvest. Then some of us headed to the Octagon for some drinks... after than we headed to Cop.. where one of the top 2 bartenders resides. Jamie (the bartender) made gene and I some funky mix of absinth and something else. The amount of alcohol he put inside contradicts the taste. its so damn yummy!

Copa is one of the only two absolut sponsored bar in new zealand. The other one is of course the ice bar in Queenstown.

To CC's grand tradition.. from Copa's we made our way to KC's. There was hardly ANYONE there. Damn sad.
Anyways, it's sahel's birthday today.
I wonder what's going to happen...

OMG! assignments!!! presentation!! report!!!! exams!!!
fuck! busy busy.
the library is gonna be my best friend...
come to think of it... i better start booking rooms for next week.
shitt

ps. Look for this movie, 'school of seduction'.. boys, Kelly Brook is in it. and she's absolut hotness.
xtra-ps. Save the last dance 2 is not bad. but its shit against save the last dance of course. But I think I'm in love with the character 'Miles'...

ok ok.. gtg.. need to go print my notes for the passed 8 weeks... and going to meet up with Darrelaine for pancakes!!!!

Praveen on a date.

2007-09-02T17:03:00.000+12:00

okay.. i'm listening to the Moffatts... "miss you like crazy" and "bang bang boom".
The days of lepaking at the astaka on friday afternoons.
The days of hanging out with ronald and actually going for the moffatts concert.
The days of porridge in the canteen on rainy days.
and the days of dumping fries into my paper cup of coke before running off to the bas to 'chup' the back seat.
ahh.. memories.

This week has been party party week.
Janice, Elaine and I planned a surprise party for sahel and darren in less than 24 hours.
Darren was damn blur but sahel... well.. suspicious.
This dude, Mack, kinda ruined it by sms-ing the boys at 6 something in the evening.

Anyways, it turned out to be really fun anyways. No octopus this time. And gene made some sauce for the prawns and everyone loved it. Nicole couldn't stop eating and Predeep was preying them prawns and Marie keep picking on them. hehehe... after that was a long walk again from Praveen's place to monkey bar where I was nearly knocked over by some big dude. Then Super Darren came to the rescue and the girls quickly trailed our way to the back of the club.. after one last good song, we made our way to KC's where we danced our ass off till our feet hurt (we all wore freaking heels!)... Sahel and Darren looked damn happy la.. so I guess mission accomplished.

Unfortunately, due to continuous fun and partly exciting events... assignments were pushed aside. So gene and I shall be geeks for the next 24 hours. well.. for me it would be 36 hours. Funny how I actually have time to blog properly.

This coming weekend.. gene and I are planning to go to Christchurch and I think CC will be coming along too... yay!

better get going...
OOooooo... my short hair can be seen at Jo's blog (Joanne Chin; Auckland's Queen Bee).
=)

and the updates...

2007-08-30T15:00:00.000+12:00

Okay.. so... here's whats new about me.

1. I'm wood painting. So far, I have painted; a tea box, 2 pencil holders, 1 coin box, onw star shaped box and two small boxes.

2. Gene got me a DS Lite. And I have been playing Sims Pets and played Mario Cart with the girls (Marie has one and Marie's friend Jo has one too... so does sabrina..).

3. Been playing board games.. played risk with Jin, CC and James a few days ago... and I WON! I kicked 3 guys' asses man! hehehe... but then again James and I allied and CC and Jin Allied... but James and I won despite the odds! woohooo!!!

4. Baby and CC took Janice and I to look for glow worms. We saw a few. The climb was a bitch tho.

5. Been watching movies... OMG! Puppetry of the Penis and The Man who Sued God; I like very muchhhh!!!! and The Reaping.. is rather interesting.. and and and... been watching classics (in my books) like The Sound of Music and LITTLE RASCALS!

6. The guys went to play football a couple of days ago.. at some secluded park.. and directly next to the park.. there were... SHEEPS! and below the park there's a doggy training field and a bmx field. It's so random! Anyways, I drove gene's car.. and 'kinda' did a donut and gave gene a heart attack.. and janice giggling (she was the one who taught me the donut... well... sort of) and Jo ALSO had a heart attack.

7. We had a bbq on Tuesday night at Pravin's.. it was fun~ the kind of estrogen theraphy i needed. The gossiping, the laughing, the comparing bfs, the shopping, the shoes, the bag, the alcohol... oooo.... everything la. then after that we walked from Pravin to Vivece ... a kareoke joint.. but I had loads of fun.. lotsa "singing together as a group" (Whoopie Goldberg, Sister Act 2)...

ok ok.. gtg now...

you..

2007-08-24T14:15:00.000+12:00

Feeling so far away for some reason.
Am beginning to hate friendster and facebook now.

"I sit here and ponder and think about what you're up to.
Internet can only reach so far and its had ears and eyes everywhere.
The truth of the matter is, I wish I knew whats going on in your life..."

Thanks tracy... for keeping me sane and connected.